This is another comedy piece that I wrote for the Rejection Hotline or rhbrands.com back in 2008.

“(Definition) Hornets Hair is a sorry-ass spectacle in which a stupid male or lazy female dyes their hair blonde, but when their black roots grow back, they don’t re-dye them blonde again, LIKE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO! Thus, giving their hair a hornets-like appearance.”

At this time I would like to send a shout out to the most famous hornet’s hair ho, Miss Marilyn Monroe!  P.S. Love the dye job, girl!

“I will now use this phrase in a couple of sentences to clarify its meaning.”

“Waitress, i’ve tried and i’ve tried but I can’t seem to get your tacky-lookin’ hornets hair off of my brand new ten thousand dollar Brooks Brothers suit. How will I explain this to my wife and mistress?”

“Hey mom, that lady over there has long hornets hair just like you. Is she a dime-store hooker, too?”

“Chef, we’ve run out of meat for the beef stew perhaps you can put a couple of chunks of your nasty-ass hornets hair in it instead.”

Hey Rihanna, please dye your damn roots!

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