I posted this article on my InstaBlogs webpage on Halloween 2008! Guys, after reading this article please take it to heart and I guarantee that your lovely lady will thank you for it!

What is SEX?

Here are a couple of answers:

A. SEX is a way of distinguishing male and female members of a species, usually by referencing their reproductive functions.

B. SEX refers to intercourse, an act that can result in reproduction.

C. SEX refers to the genitals.

Well, the SEX that i’m talking about refers to all three.

Thank god!

(Low-down dirty laugh!)

But when a woman has stretch marks, the sex can literally be a pain in the butt!

Guys, heads-up!

Every woman wants to feel sexy and beautiful during sex and having stretch marks can take alot of the enjoyment out of it.

Guys, one of the biggest taboos of all time is that women are supposed to be physically perfect!

They’re supposed to look like all of those beautiful size 2 women that we all see in magazines like Maxim, Playboy and People.

They’re supposed to have perfect hair, facial features, teeth and a smokin’ smooth body devoid of any imperfection.

Guys, this ain’t reality!

And if any guy says different you try squeezin’ a baby the size of a watermelon out of a part of a female’s anatomy that’s the size of a lemon and see how smooth your skin would be.

Oh, snap!

I mean, good luck, baby!

And a woman can’t help it if sometimes she either loses or gains some weight and her skin stretches.

That shit is outta’ her control!

Guys let’s face it, stretch marks are the badge of a real woman.

P.S. I stole that line from the Molly Ringwald movie, “For Keeps.”

Guys, another heads up!

Another taboo is making negative comments about your lady’s stretch marks during sex.

Unless you want to guarantee 100% that you won’t get any nookie or are Charles Bronson and have a major “deathwish”, keep your damn mouth shut when it comes to your lady’s stretch marks!

Guys, let me tell you three things when it comes to women, sex and stretch marks:

1. You need to constantly reassure your lovely lady that she is the sexiest woman in the world regardless of her stretch marks during sex and the sex will only get better.

2. Pretend like you are Stevie Wonder and turn a blind eye to your lady’s stretch marks or wear a blindfold which can also have it’s advantages during sex.


3. Go down to your local drugstore and buy your lady as much Palmer’s Cocoa Butter as you possibly can to help get rid of her stretch marks.

But guys, be nonchalant about it or there won’t be any nookie for you tonight!

Bottoms up!

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Hi there! Excellent post! Please do tell us when I could see a follow up!

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