“Why is the language in a romance novel so lame? For example…”

“Looking at them made him weak. Her lips were full and lush just begging to be kissed.”

“I would just love it if a romance novel would be more realistic and say…”

“She wore beer-flavored lip gloss on her big-ass lips because she knew that there wasn’t a red-blooded male on earth that would pass up a free beer and a little nookie on the side from a good-lookin’ chick.”

“I mean, keep it real!”

“I get so tired of reading romance novels with passages like…”

“It was simply divine. Her womanhood tasted of pungent crushed flowers and dew.”


“Why can’t they keep it real and say…”

“Her woo-ha tasted wicked nasty as a result of a lingering yeast infection and a burrito-fueled bowel movement.”

“I’ll never understand why romance novels can’t keep it real!”


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