Before I reveal my top 10 biggest assholes on the planet list, I have to give a big ol’ shout out to the two biggest assholes on the planet of all time. Congratulations to you douche bag, Spencer Pratt and congratulations to your creepy plastic surgery addicted awful looking wife, Heidi Montag! Spencer and Heidi your ridiculous and pathetic antics on the reality shows, “The Hills” and “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” sealed your two biggest assholes on the planet of all time fate! Congratulations and my condolences!

Anyhoo, let’s get to my list!

1. Assholes who pledge money or make donations to telethon’s like The Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon in front of their bosses or a girl that they want to bang but when they are alone and it comes time to pay the piper they completely blow them off by cancelling the credit card on which they made the pledge or donation on or hangup on the telethon personnel when they call to find out why the pledge or donation hasn’t been paid or pitch the “donation is now due letter” into the trash that the telethon personnel sent them thereby wasting some of the precious money that the telethon collected for their cause from people who actually keep their word. Asshole!

2. Assholes who have the audacity to put a shitload of commercials and trailers IN FRONT of a YouTube video, NetFlix program, on a brand new DVD or Blockbuster Big Screen Movie that I have been dying to see not to mention paid $20.00 to see (and that price doesn’t include requisite big screen movie watching essentials like popcorn with extra butter, a large mountain dew and a box of chocolate stars) in order to promote the new movie or product that will be coming out soon and actually expect me to go out and buy a ticket to see the new movie or go out and buy the new product when they have wasted precious seconds of my time by forcing me to watch their stupid commercial or trailer. Asshole!

3. Inconsiderate assholes who get chunks of jelly in the peanut butter or leave toast crumbs in the butter for the next person to clean out and are shocked when that person is extremely pissed off that they have to do this. Asshole!

4. Assholes who are next in line at an ATM machine and keep sighing every couple of seconds just because they think that you are taking too long when if the truth be told you have only been at the damn thing for a couple of seconds. Asshole!

5. Female assholes who as young girls for their own amusement or to amp up their popularity with cute but macho high school football players used to burn the hell out of ants with a gigantic magnifying glass and then grow up and claim to be “fine upstanding pillars of the community.” Asshole!

6. Assholes who hound, badger and insist on helping you with something after you have politely told them numerous times, “No, thank you” or “I can do it myself” but simply won’t take “no” for an answer thereby making you feel like a helpless defenseless child being bullied by the big bad wolf. Asshole!

7. Nasty-ass assholes who use public restrooms and don’t take a couple of seconds to clean the sprinklets of urine or drop of dookey that they left behind on the toilet seat after they have taken a dump or a squirt and the next unfortunate person who has to use that particular toilet either has to clean that nasty shit off of the toilet themselves before they can sit down and do their business or the next unfortunate person who has to use that particular toilet has to do a major squat-job while they are doing their business but still are forced to have to look at that nasty shit on the toilet. Literally! Asshole!

8. Loveable but deceitful assholic friends who say, “Help yourself to a cold drink in the fridge.” and you do by selecting a bottle of flavored water only to spit the bland-ass shit out a second later when you discover that the flavored water bottle is filled up with plain ol’ tap water. (P.S. In your loveable but deceitful assholic friend’s defense, the plain ol’ tap water was “cold” so technically you did help yourself to a cold drink in the fridge but it would have been nice if your friend could of given you some kind of warning or the heads up because after all isn’t that what a friend does warn another friend that they are about to drink plain ol’ tap water instead of ultra-delicious peach-apricot flavored water.) Asshole!

9. Assholes that eat foods that they know damn well will make their systems gasy but do it anyway then have the nerve to go out to a public place like a restaurant or a library and start farting up a storm and when other people start noticing the smell and wondering who did it, the disgusting insensitive asshole has the nerve to look at you like your the culprit. Asshole!

10. Assholic girl friends that you have been best friends with for 15 years who you have made major plans months in advance with after 4 hours of primping and prepping dump your loyal female ass in a micro-minute to go out with a cute guy that they literally just met less than an hour ago. I love you, girl, but you are an Asshole!

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Disney Book said,

    Hey There Shamrockgirladventures,
    Thanks for the above, In the last few years the real estate title industry has been in the news a lot more and usually it is not because of the good things they are doing. Most of the news has revolved around the illegal kickbacks and gifts they are giving to brokers in return for more business being sent their way. The latest story is from Washington and involves homeowners suing title agencies for providing illegal gifts to brokers and passing on extra charges to the customers. These stories have become far too common and in the Internet age it is only a matter of time before anyone who is in need of title insurance will be able to find similar stories. Because of the increased knowledge title insurance providers should take heed and change their ways. There is no way to hide this information from consumers and those title companies who are engaging in these illegal practices will pay the price and rightly so.
    BTW great blogpost

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