Archive for April, 2012

(WELCOME TO TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN’S A NOTEWORTHY ATTRIBUTE REVIEWS!) HEY RAPPERS: CHAP’S HAS THE BEST GRILLE IN NEW HAVEN CONNECTICUT!


Hey foodies, culinary masters and all of the rest of you with the wander lust bug out there, are you think about doing a little traveling soon in your big-ass Winnebago with the space age George Jetson kitchen?

If so, take a break from grilling the porterhouse steak
and check out a little ol’ restaurant in New Haven Connecticut
that even the most discerning cowboy dines at!

To learn more about Chap’s Grille, read on………..

A Noteworthy Attribute:
(Chap’s Grille/Buffalo Chicken Tender Wrap)
Cost: $6.25 to chow down in Yale University’s hometown!
No matter whether you are a successful hardcore rapper who can wear their gravity-defying ten thousand dollar pants hanging off their butt cheeks without being arrested for indecent exposure, your vintage New York Yankees baseball cap turned to the back which is just plain sacrilege right there or your grille (which is urban slang for teeth jewelry) decked out in the most expensive gold, silver and diamonds that money can buy, let me tell you something, there are some things in life no matter how successful or badly dressed you are that just can’t be beat! And speaking of beats, let me bust a rhyme for you and it goes a little something like this:”Yo baby, yo baby, you baby, yo!”
“Your  is GRILLE whacked!”
“Cause’ when it comes to the Buffalo Chicken Tender Wrap that they serve at Chap’s GRILLE in New Haven Connecticut, that baby is deliciously packed!”
“Goodbye, son!”
“Chap’s Grille is number one!”
“Hey fool, stay in school, cause’ you just got sacked!”
“With the Buffalo Chicken Tender Wrap on Chap’s Grille menu they will never be beat!”
“Anybody crazy enough to challenge them, simply accept defeat!”
“Cause’ Chap’s Grille got it goin’ on, they are so neat!”So to all of you foodies and wander lusters out there it’s now time for ya’ll to recognize and get wise when it comes to Chap’s Grille ultimate prize!  And here we go!When you first lay your eyes on Chap’s Grille ultra-popular Buffalo Chicken Tender Wrap the first thought that immediately pops into your head is, “Jack it to Jesus! Jack it to Jesus!”  And that’s exactly what those heavenly staff angels at Chap’s Grille do when they make these wraps they “Jack em’ to Jesus” with:-Chicken so spicy that if eaten by a couple with a totally boring sex life it will instantly turn that atrocity five alarm chili red hot and have them both screaming simultaneously “Chap’s Grille” upon reaching orgasm!

-Chicken so darn tender that it practically glides down your throat very much like phlegm does when you are desperately trying to cough it up and spit it out!  (P.S.  Some of you out there reading this review may question my judgment in mentioning the word “phlegm” in close proximity to the Buffalo Chicken Tender Wrap but again let me school all of you grossed out babies, like the rapper 50 Cent is bulletproof (the guy has been shot 9 times) the Buffalo Chicken Tender Wrap at Chap’s Grille is nasty snot phlegm proof!)

-Blue Cheese Dressing so robust that it makes the hit AMC tv show, Mad Men’s Joan Holloway Harris (played seductively by actress Christina Hendricks) look flat which is a feat in itself! (I mean, have you seen this chick!)

-And Greens so crisp that people and gophers from miles away are constantly calling you to tell you to shut the heck up!

So fellow foodies, wander lusters and successful but badly dressed rappers if you ever find yourselves traveling in New Haven Connecticut, I urge you to do as the Yalies do!  Take $6.25 out of your trust fund and invest in a Buffalo Chicken Tender Wrap from Chap’s Grille!  Trust me, it will be one of the best non tax deductable investments that you will ever make in your argyle footed life!

Go Yale University and Chap’s Grille!

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(WELCOME TO TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN’S A NOTEWORTHY ATTRIBUTE REVIEWS!) IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT TAKING A TRIP TO PORTSMOUTH NEW HAMPSHIRE, YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST DO THIS!


Hey fellow travelers!
Are you thinking about taking a trip to the seacoast?
Is Portsmouth New Hampshire one of your stops?
If so, you must absolutely do this…..

A Noteworthy Attribute:
(40 Pease Tradeport/41 Lafayette Road Trolleys)
Cost: 50 cents on the trolley to ride–not paraglide!

On some of the trolleys, the cords that you pull on to signal the bus driver that you want to get off at the next bus stop actually work but more often DON’T so basically you are forced to call or yell out (especially if you are sitting in the back of the trolley) something along the lines of “Next stop!”, “Bus driver, can you please let me off at the next bus stop!” or “I’m an out-of-towner, get me out of here!”

Since Portsmouth New Hampshire is a very popular seacoast town you get a very diverse set of passengers that ride the Pease and Lafayette Trolleys which is a definite plus!  So be sure to bring along either a microcassette recorder, a big ol’ Brady Bunch style tape recorder like the one that Peter used to spy on his brothers and sisters in one of the classic Brady Bunch episodes or use the “record” feature on your high tech cellphone to capture the myriad of voices including three sheets to the wind ultra slurred voices, slick get me to the bedroom quick Barry White voices and irritating lispy voices.  (At this time I would like to send a great big shout out to the youngest Brady, Cindy Brady and her extremely irritating lispy voice!  What’s up girl! I love the show even though it was a bit corny at times!)

So if you are a person who enjoys public speaking or wants to be a professional voice actor or auctioneer it is an absolute must while you are in Portsmouth New Hampshire that you take a ride on either the Pease or Lafayette Trolleys so that you can perfect your craft!  Exercise those vocal cords the Portsmouth New Hampshire way by telling the bus driver to let you off at the next stop!  Also, be sure to be creative and try to think of unique ways to let the bus driver know that you want to get off the bus!  Fellow travelers, you are smart!  Use your noggin and a thesaurus!

Warning:  Riding on the Pease and Lafayette Trolleys are not for the meek or timid!  In these instances stick to the many Portsmouth cabs.

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TALKING ALOUD TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU’RE A WRITER IS NOT CRAZY, IT’S REQUIRED! AFTER ALL, WE’RE MODERN DAY LITERARY OUTLAWS!


Every week I take a trip out to the local Family Dollar Store to get a few items. From my home to the Family Dollar Store it is approximately a 15 minute walk. This past weekend I made my usual trip. Usually everything goes off without a hitch but not this time. You see on my 15 minute walks to and from Family Dollar I like to use the time to do some mental writing which usually entails coming up with something new to write about and post on my online blogs.

As I was walking home from Family Dollar and doing some thinking all of a sudden I came up with a clever line that one of my children’s story character’s could say. And as I so often do, I said the line outloud in the voice that I have imagined my children’s story character would talk in.

I was momentarily startled when out of nowhere a voice says, “Omigod!” When I turned around in the direction the voice had come from I was surprised to see a little old caucasian lady walking a few steps behind me tugging a small cart filled with groceries. My first thought was “Where the hell did this bitch come from?” since I usually have supersonic hearing and can tell instantly when someone comes up or walks behind me. However, I also know that sometimes when I really get into my mental writing I am literally transported into that world and am totally oblivious to everything around me. Basically, I don’t hear jack shit and this of course was one of those times.

After a few awkward seconds of eye contact with the little old caucasian lady I noticed in addition to tugging her small-ass cart of groceries she was also looking at me like I was totally crazy. Her expression was so comical that when I turned back around I immediately began laughing which the little old caucasian lady obviously heard with her only being steps behind because this time I hear her say, “Crazy kids!” quite loudly. As you can imagine this made me laugh even harder. A few seconds later, we both came to an intersection which I crossed and she made a right turn onto another street.

A few moments later as I was still thinking about my brief unusual encounter with the little old caucasian lady with a big ol’ smile on my face again I was momentarily surprised and I knew why. You see a couple of times in my life people from family members to friends to co-workers to total strangers have heard me talking aloud to myself and like most people I get a little embarrassed but not this time and again I knew the reason why.

Even though I was talking aloud to myself, I was working. I was mental writing and to me that’s legitimate work. And that’s just one of the many things that us writers do, we use our imaginations to picture what the characters in our stories will look like, how they will dress, their mannerisms, how they will talk and so much more. So technically I was only doing what was required of me. Something every writer does so there was absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn’t do anything wrong or strange although the little old caucasian lady seemed to think that I did.

In her eyes I wasn’t conforming to the usual rules of society which dictate that you don’t talk aloud to yourself in a public place. But who cares! I was on Saturday, April 7th and will be for the rest of my life proud of myself for laughing off the little old caucasian lady’s negative comments. So little old caucasian lady who was walking behind me on Saturday afternoon I just want to say that “I’m not crazy!” It just so happens that talking aloud to yourself when you’re a writer is not crazy but required because it is a vital part of the job! So take that, honey!

P.S. Writers all over the world and Elvis have left the building with their heads held high and we don’t care what other people say about us when we talk aloud to ourselves while we are working! After all, we’re modern day literary outlaws! We don’t conform, we change the world with our words and there ain’t no way in hell we’ll do the norm! So take that little old caucausian lady and all of you other haters out there! We writers, rule the world!

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TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN’S DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN! (TIP 1) THIS ONE IS FOR MY GIRLS!


Hey Junk Food Junkie Gals, let me give you a tip.

DON’T CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO OUT ON A DATE!

JFJ Gals, your date ain’t gonna’ be able to handle it and your stomach damn well ain’t gonna’ be able to handle this shit either! Literally!

Girl let me school ya’!

Your stomach is used to all of that beautiful artery clogging grease due to all of those thick-ass, stacked-ass double cheeseburgers with all of the fixins that you have been wolfin’ down and all of those long-ass salty-ass french fries drenched with catsup that you have been scarfin’ up and all of those golden brown fried twinkies loaded with so many damn preservatives that if you left the bitch for 100 years and came back, the damn twinkie would still be edible, that your gluttonous ass has been gobblin’ up!

Girl, that’s the shit that your stomach is used to! So Girl, don’t be goin’ and committin’ suicide all up on your date! Girl, let me tell ya’ that your date ain’t gonna’ like it, the police ain’t gonna’ like it, the paramedics ain’t gonna’ like it and your family and friends sure as hell ain’t gonna’ like being inconvenienced and having to dole out mad cash simply because your stupid-ass got herself killed by deciding to turn over a new health food leaf on your date! Girl, wake the fuck up! So Girl, quit it! But in your case, don’t begin it!

Girl, if your dumb junk food junkie ass wants to turn over a new health food leaf, choose a different appropriate time like a week or two before you have your annual physical examination at the doctor’s office! Girl, that’s the perfect time for your junk food eatin’ ass!

BUT and I mean a big-ass BUT, for all of my stubborn-ass Junk Food Junkie Gals absolutely determined to turn over a new health food leaf on their date then your dumb-ass had better come prepared! Girl, let me give you some more advice and I pray to God you’ll take it this time. For God’s sake, go to the nearest Walmart before you go on your date and stock up on these supplies.

A big-ass can of air freshner due to all of the fartin’ and shittin’ you’ll be doing all up in the bathroom, a tin of altoid mints due to your nasty stinky breath from all of the upchuckin’ that you’ll be doing all up in the bathroom, a couple packages of tums antacid due to all of the upchuckin’ you’ll be doing all up in the bathroom, an extra pair of drawers due to soiling yourself from all of the fartin’ and shittin’ that you’ll be doing all up in the bathroom, a “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego Detective Kit” for your date so that he can find you and determine if you simply deserted his ass or your shits really take that long, some boxing gloves so that you can protect yourself from all of the punches and bitch-slaps that you’ll be receiving from the establishment’s staff for stinkin’ up their bathroom and cloggin’ up their toilet and last but not least a first aid kit so that you can patch yourself up from all of the punches and bitch-slaps that you received due to all of the fartin’, shittin’, upchuckin’ and toilet cloggin’ that you did all up in that establishment’s bathroom.

Girl, be prepared for World War 3 if you decide to change your eating habits right before you go out on a date!

And don’t say, my girl, Tina Knowledgeable Peden didn’t warn you!

Because I did!

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6 REASONS WHY WOMEN SHOULD DO THE NASTY DURING THEIR MENSTRUAL PERIODS!


Usually when most women think about having sex during their menstual periods the word, “gross” immediately springs to mind. But let me tell you something my fellow maidens that extremely creative women like me already know and that is a woman can have the best damn sex of her life while she’s ridin’ the crimson wave! And here are a few examples, my fellow maidens.

1. If you have sex on your menstrual period and ruin the bed sheets, couch cushions, carpeting on the floor or the brand new red and white checkered table cloth that your mother-in-law bought you at Walmart for $12.99 the good news is that you have the perfect excuse to go on a shopping spree! And oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, how us girls loves us some shopping spree! Hooray!

2. My fellow maidens let’s face it, guys love two things when it comes to sex. First they like it “red hot” and second they like it “wet!” So by having sex on your menstrual period your guy gets a kick-ass 2 for 1 deal. Since menstrual blood is red and the vagina is usually hot, you’re giving that lucky bastard exactly what he wants! And let’s face it fellow maidens, what guy wants to stick his hot prick all up into a dry-ass hole, B-O-R-I-N-G! Maidens, since menstrual blood is wet, again your giving that lucky bastard what he wants, a slick-ass hole that he can ease on down ease on down the road into.

3. For all of those prim and proper maidens out there whose sex lives have become extremely “vanilla” and it’s driving them fucking crazy, doin’ the nasty on your menstrual period can break you out of that boring gelatin mold that you are stuck in. Maidens, experimentation and getting a little freaky deaky when it comes to sex can bring a couple even closer together which is something most women want.

4. If you are one of those maidens that lives in a dump or shitty-ass house or apartment due to low finances, attending college or you simply are into slumming just think how happy you’re gonna’ make some of the bed bugs in your crappy crib by gettin’ busy with your man while your on your menstual period since those sons of bitches can live for a year off a single drop of blood! Just think you’re not only gonna’ score mad points from the constantly discriminated bed bug community but from PETA as well! You go humanitarian, girl!

5. To some guys a “I don’t give a fuck attitude” can be a real turn on! So by having sex during your menstual period you are basically showing your man that he ain’t no damn inconvenience and there ain’t no shame to your game. Meaning: You’ve had sex together in the past with your man and you have cleaned up a shitload of his sperm and gallons and gallons of your own pussy juice so cleaning up a few pints of menstrual blood after sex is no big deal. And maidens, guys who love gals with “I don’t give a fuck attitudes” are gonna’ love you for your free nasty-ass spirit!

6. Fuck roses, chocolates and romantic poems! What better way to declare your love for your man by fucking his brains out on your menstrual period to Leona Lewis’ hit song, “Bleeding Love!” Let’s face it maidens, nothing says “I love you” more than this.

So maidens, my advice to you is to: DO IT, DO IT, DO IT TILL YOUR SATISFIED, even if it is during your monthly menstrual period!

After all, who the fuck cares!

Go for it!

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