Archive for Holiday/Special Occasions

The Bonny as Hell/Pretty Picture Song!


VERSE 1:
-This Lad really hates to be crass,
-Nice derriere there, lovely Lass,
-In you girl, I found a four leaf clover,
-Cause’ you really bowling green me over,
-A masterpiece, a true Mona Lisa,
-My heart just left my body without a visa,
-Beat, beat, flutter, flutter, warning bell,
-Bachelor caught by love at first sight spell,

INTRO INTO CHORUS:
-Cause’ girl you . . . .

CHORUS:
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture

VERSE 2:
-Forbidden Sex, Lad, among many a secluded tree,
-Naughty Lass, will you please please marry me,
-Cheek to Cheek Dancing with my Husband in my vintage wedding gown,
-Butt Cheek to Butt Cheek Dancing with my Wife in my penguin suit gettin’ the hell down,
-One year later, date night out with my new ball and chain,
-Hey honey, you creepin’ on my old man, best stay in your lane,
-Cause’ bimbo, see this ring, this man is forever and ever mine,
-Baby girl, to the male ego, a cat fight over me would be oh so devine,

INTRO INTO CHORUS:
-And girl, that’s why you will always be to me . . . .

CHORUS:
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture

VERSE 3:
-It’s baby makin’ time, Lad, wicked wink and slap on the rump,
-Lass, only you could look sexy feeding my baby while attached to a breast pump,
-Quick girl, let’s hide before the PTA asks us to once again volunteer,
-Love my boy but after all that off key singing all I want is a tall glass of beer,
-Running my hand lovingly over the old penguin suit with a tear in my eye,
-I can’t believe i’m about to see my son graduate something money just can’t buy,
-I’m so happy but so sad our child is about to leave our safe family nest hood,
-High five, pat on the back, cause’ this Lad and Lass did that parenting thing damn good,

INTRO INTO CHORUS:
-And one day our boy will have a child with a lovely gal and I vow, she’ll be . . . .

CHORUS:
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-JUST LIKE YOU!

VERSE 4:
-Baby makes three, minus one, now down to us, the original empty nest two,
-Boo hoo hoo, what are we gonna’ do, not a clue, it’s all so damn new,
-Money can’t buy all but thanks to the j-o-b, Mom & Dad, have fun with our hard-earned cash,
-Salesman, can I see that antique picture frame with the sparkly sterling silver flash,
-Me and friends bought some tickets to the charity high school reunion supper and ball,
-That smart pretty girl who beat me at debate asked me to dance there, of all the gall,
-Middle-aged Lass gives her Middle-aged Lad a wicked and heartfelt smile and wink,
-The circle of love is now complete for their son has found his Lass, the missing family link!

INTRO INTO CHORUS:
-And like you girl, I know, not think, that she will forever and ever be . . . .

CHORUS:
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-Bonny as Hell
-Pretty Picture
-JUST LIKE YOU!

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ELECTORAL COLLEGE 666, ELECTORAL COLLEGE RED & BLUE SONG!


 

-Electoral College 666, Founding fathers ingenious tricks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Hill & Gore won the pop vote, to some hooray, others boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, Makes brilliant scholars feel like dicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Red States, Blue States and Purple ones too,
-Electoral College 666, We the people don’t really pick our own president, oh fiddle sticks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Indirect democracy rules and picks your president for you,
-Electoral College 666, People vote in Nov, Electors vote in Dec amid an icy & snowy mix,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, 270 electoral votes, candidate baby, brings it all home to you,
-Electoral College 666, Discourages damn voter fraud, hey cheaters, baby yo’ plan got nix,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Swing States, Safe States any of them can flip the bird to you,

-Electoral College 666, Any foreigner messin’ with our elections best be prepared to take some licks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Trump & Bush won the EC vote, to some hooray, others boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, Us big-ass states rule the Electoral College you inferior dumb little hicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Us little-ass states in a close election can drop the bomb on you,
-Electoral College 666, I’m an Elector and i’m gonna’ vote my way, states, so screw you, I rule, pricks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, The People say honor thy State’s wishes, Electors damn well better do,
-Electoral College 666, Some say get rid of or update this outdated bitch, give it several-ass kicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Others say the Electoral College works, so suck it, crybabies, boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, For now, noone really knows how to overhaul the EC system or do a major fix,
-And Finally, Electoral College Red & Blue, For now, many discussions in support and against the Electoral College means a little drama and mayhem will always definitely ensue!

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SANTA BABY STOCKING STUFFED WITH SANTA BABY LYRICS!


With my favorite holiday approaching I think that this is the appropriate time to share with you one of my favorite Christmas songs, Santa Baby.  The lyrics are below.  Many people have recorded this song but my favorite singer of this song is Eartha Kitt! Happy Holidays!  Enjoy!

SANTA BABY LYRICS:

(Baboom baboom baboom baboom)
(Baboom baboom baboom baboom)
Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree
For me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a fifty-four convertible too
Light blue
I’ll wait up for you, dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I’ve missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you’ll check off my Christmas list
Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that’s not a lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one little thing I really need the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex
And checks
Sign your ‘x’ on the line
Santa cutie, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany
I really do believe in you
Let’s see if you believe in me

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing
A ring
I don’t mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight

Songwriters
JOAN JAVITS, PHILIP SPRINGER, TONY SPRINGER

 

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HEY VAIN RICH GUYS, HERE’S SOME HELPFUL KICK IN THE ASS ADVICE IN REGARDS TO YOUR LOVE LIFE & OTHER THINGS!


Hey vain rich guys, since it is a new year, here is some unsolicited advice to help you get off to a good start.  So picture this fictional scenario.

Vain rich guys, you are currently in the “so damn glad that Christmas is over” cycle but unfortunately due to consuming all of those 180 proof eggnog cocktails on December 26th, 2013 white hot needles of hangover pain have thrown a less than glowing spotlight on your love life.

Looking back now at Christmas day 2013 you think that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to insist on carving your blind date’s apple cranberry stuffed turkey with your new $90.00 gold-plated locker key to the fancy schmancy gym/spa that you belong to.  But unfortunately your bloodlust for control, attention and expensive worthless material shit clouded your judgment along with all of those damn 180 eggnog cocktails.

(Note to self:  I’m never drinking anything 180 proof ever again!  Well, at least not until Super Bowl Sunday at the country club.)

Anyhoo ……….

Vain rich guys, you also came to the realization that it also didn’t help your love life on Christmas day either when you threatened to tell all of the kids in your date’s neighborhood that Santa didn’t exist, pissing off your date even further, if they played one lyric of the classic Christmas song, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Burl Ives in lieu of playing “Santa Baby” by Madonna because in your humble opinion even though Burl Ives can sing his big-ass off he still is so damn unattractive that he makes you want to puke Christmas tree shaped multi-colored vomit all over the place.

Burn!

So all in all vain rich guys, even though the above things may not have specifically happened to you, THE POINT IS, every vain rich guy should know that going through life judging people harshly by their looks, not using their noggin before saying stupid-ass things, shamelessly flaunting material possessions and acting like a moronic control freak will not only get you a well deserved kick in the ass and your ass kicked to the curb by any sane female but eventually will leave you a lonely pathetic masturbating fool.

Burn!

So vain rich guys, instead try turning over a brand spankin’ new $5,000 Ralph Lauren jock strap for the new year!  Vain rich guys, turn that stupid-ass trait upside down by using your material fortune to buy a small gift for a friend or purchasing some tasty but expensive-ass food for a homeless shelter!  And vain rich guys,  if you do feel the need to make a negative comment about somebody’s looks simply think the bad thing in your head and keep your damn mouth shut!

And vain rich guys, I really do hope that you have a happy and prosperous new year!

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HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU SEXUALLY ACTIVE COUPLES OUT THERE! THIS ONE’S FOR YOU!


LOVEY BOO!  (A Song Written By Tina Knowledgeable Peden)

(VERSE 1)

-Valentine’s Day, oh boy, the kinky love,
-My baby’s gonna’ spank my nasty-ass with his ultra-ribbed pleasure glove,
-Fucking, bucking and sucking all of those yummy chocolate-covered balls,
-Oh god, oh god, oh god, I just love having sex with my baby after hearing steamy-ass 1900 calls,
-Because . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fuck the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 2)

-Valentine’s Day, oh girl, the hot and healthy sex,
-My honey’s gonna’ sprinkle my body all over with some tasty-ass yogurt-covered wheat chex,
-Sniffin’, ticklin’ and lickin’ all of those edible cherry-flavored red roses and pussy willows,
-Oh god, oh god, oh god, I just love comin’ in my honey’s mouth while propped up on her heart-shaped red satin pillows,
-Because . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fuck the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 3)

-Well, my sweet, as Valentine’s Day and night comes to a close,
-Of course I want to thank you for having sex with me and taking off all of your clothes,
-Cause’ baby when it comes to phenomenal sex me and only heaven knows,
-That you are perfection and make me feel so damn good from my head to my toes,
-And that’s why . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fuck the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 4)

-But seriously my love, now, I want to thank you by going all old school on your sexy, delectable-ass,
-When I was a kid on Valentine’s Day, I just loved getting miniature greeting cards and boxes of candy hearts with messages on them in class,
-So here’s my sweet-ass heart-shaped “let’s go steady so we can hold hands” candy-coated inscribed verbal message expressly for you,
-No matter whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any ol’ regular day of the year, I just want you to know that I will forever love you and sometimes wanna’ fuck you, my sweet Lovey Boo!
-Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Just kidding! And without further sexual ado . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fuck the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

And to view some of my other songs/lyrics please click on or go to the website below.  http://songbay.co/artists/4490

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TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN’S GREETING CARDS IN A BLOG POST! (GREETING CARD 12)

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HERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT I LOVED ABOUT THE 2013 INAUGURATION OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!


I watched the inauguration on NBC and I loved the following:

– All the tweets from Twitter that NBC would broadcast throughout their coverage of the inauguration.
(My personal faves: A tweet from a person who said that back in 2009 both her and her spouse were unemployed but as of 2013 they both have jobs! Hooray! And a tweet from a mother watching the inauguration with her young son who thought the inauguration was boring! P.S. Hey kid, when I was your age, I thought the same thing too!)

– President Obama’s speech where he advocated the rights of Gay Americans! Hooray! (P.S. To all gay Americans, I hope one day that you get the respect and rights that other Americans takes oh so for granted!)

– The two beautiful sculptures of Dr. Martin Luther King!

– Al Roker’s hilarious attempts and success when it came to getting both President Obama and Vice President Biden to acknowledge him. P.S. Hey Al, you rock! You ain’t no ordinary weatherman you are superman!

– The attention that Second Lady, Dr. Jill Biden got from the media, the political community, Americans in general and the whole wide world. P.S. Jill, I thought you looked fantastic on Inauguration Day and it made me very happy to see some of the spotlight focused on you instead of entirely on Michelle Obama! You go, girl!

– Vice President Joe Biden darting here and darting there during the Inauguration parade and looking so damn young and spry doing it!

– Young first daughter, Sasha Obama yawning during the inauguration.

– Seeing former President Jimmy Carter’s beautiful infectious smile!

– Seeing the Republicans and the Democrats come together in lieu of their usual fighting.

– All of the beautiful people from all over the world who braved the cold to watch history in the making.

– President Obama acknowledging Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut.

– James Taylor’s stint as a political correspondent and his performance of the song, America the Beautiful, of course.

All in all, I thought it was a great inauguration and I am looking so forward to Inauguration 2017!

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