Archive for How To/Instructional


Verse 1/Chorus:
Hey brother,
did you have a bad day so you took
it out on your woman and brought
her verbally down?
Wanna’ rebound?
Then Johnson up!
Straight up!
Say Sorry up!
Admit yo’ ass was to blame and you
was wrong up!
Buy your woman some flowers or
candy or cook her dinner as a nice
way to make up!
Commit to doing better in the future up!
But most of all, verbally lift your Queen’s
spirits because she damn well deserves
it the hell up!
Get the picture up!
Verse 2/Chorus:
Hey brother,
did you get a girl pregnant then say the
kid ain’t yours being all damn low down?
Wanna’ rebound?
Then Johnson up!
Straight up!
Take paternal parental responsibility up!
Take any decent job or take yo’ ass back
to school to provide for your new kid up!
Pay as much as you can in child support
or open up a savings account and save,
save, save up!
Take a lamaze class and meet other new
parents up!
Go out and buy a colorful onesie up!
But most of all, support the mother of your
child, despite any differences, because she
sure as hell needs you at this time the hell up!
Verse 3/Chorus:
Hey brother,
when you and your homeboys are clowning
around, do you often refer to women as
bitches and hoes stupidly thinking ya’ll are
getting down?
Wanna’ rebound?
Then Johnson up!
Straight up!
Ask yourself would you want your homies
calling your mama, sister or female child
these sick-ass names, come on brother,
real up!
Remember brother that a strong sensual
woman can do anything that a stereotypical
macho male can do so wake up!
And dude, if a woman has a so called
tramp stamp on her back, you can have
your opinions but keep them to yourself
because it ain’t none of yo’ business up!
And baby boy, just because a women dresses
sexy or barely wears any clothes doesn’t mean
that she’s easy or a slut up!  So shutup!
Bro, work to free your mind of these stereotypes
by educating yourself and your homeboys the hell up!
But most of all, try to be a gentleman to women as much
as you possibly can by verbally respecting women
especially in front of impressionable young men the hell up!
Verse 4/Chorus:
Hey brothers,
now that I have given ya’ll the ultimate female low down …..
Now you have all of the tools to maintain and if need be to
always rebound!
So Bro, if ever in the future you screw up, simply direct
your dick skyward and Johnson up!
Again bro, dick skyward, literally straight up!
Bro, do it all old school R&B Temptations style and
“Treat Her Like A Lady” up!
And if you majorly fuck up then go to prison, serve
your time and rehabilitate the hell up!
Always try to be a good role model to young and other
brothers because you have the ability to inspire and
educate up!
Don’t be scared to show love and affection outwardly
towards your woman for fear you’ll be called a pansy up!
Scream it from the tree tops that you are a strong-ass,
grown-ass woman supporting equal opportunity man
till you die up!
And most of all, tweak, be creative and do anything else
that you can think of to make yourself a better man who
exhibits respectful behavior towards women up!
Again bro, direct your dick skyward, straight up!
Always and forever bro, remember to Johnson up!

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Do you want to take a stand against a certain politician but due to such things as being too shy or having flat-ass feet may prevent you from picking up a homemade sign and hitting the streets and protesting the usual way?

Well, don’t be damn discouraged!

Baby, just change your mind set!

Remember, every damn person on the planet is good at something!

So first, determine what the hell that is then go out and do it till you’re satisfied whatever it is!

For example:

-If you are a writer, then start a political blog or compose political blog posts about the politician in question.

-If you are a musician, then write a song about the politician and do some public performances of it at your local park, coffee house, house party, etc.  And don’t forget to post that baby online!

-If you have a culinary degree, then bake up a batch of cookies stuffed with a strip of paper inscribed with a political fortune message on it and then pass them out at political fundraising events.

Et cetera!  Et cetera!  Et cetera!

Just use your strengths and imagination and I guarantee you that you will make one hell of a stand!



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Some lawmakers in states like North Carolina try to do everything under the sun to make it as difficult as possible for people who are eligible to vote, to actually cast a vote for fear that their political party won’t reign victorious.  And we all know what that bullshit is called…..voter suppression!

Here’s a tip on how to stop voter suppression:

-Go to a reputable fundraising website like and start a campaign to raise money in order to be able to give out vouchers to cash strapped eligible voters in all 50 states who are unable to purchase a state issued i.d. card or passport which includes a photo so that they can prove definitively who they are and thus be able to cast a vote for the candidate of their choice!

Hooray for democracy!




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-It could be the dumbest song in the world,
-Who the hell cares,
-Just as long as you get off your butt and write it,
-Just as long as you pour your heart and soul into it,
-Just as long as you personally like it,
-It don’t have to be rocket science honey,
-Now put your Sara Bareilles “Brave” underwear on and put it out there,
-And you never know,
-One person out there may really vibe with it,
-And another one out there may actually even buy it,
-But even if the public don’t buy your hardworked on song,
-Remember you did everything right and not a damn thing wrong,
-You accomplished something alot of others couldn’t which is you wrote a song,
-And whether you did it sober or sucking on a Denver Colorado marijuana bong,
-Girl or boy, you are so strong,
-And you have one big fucking dong,
-So honey do a twirl and move along,
-And write your next hit, bomb, brilliant or crappy-ass next song!

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This is an oldie but goodie article that I wrote and posted on Dreamstime back in July 2010.  Enjoy!

The worst fear for any writer is to get writer’s block! It is truly a nightmare! For some writers, it is a nightmare that they so desperately want to wake up from but find that they can’t.

As a writer myself, writing to me personally is my love and my heart. So not being able to write something when I specifically want to is like death because part of me dies a little when I can’t do the thing that I love so much.

It’s sad to think about but just about every writer on this planet and probably some on Mars and Jupiter have been through a period where they haven’t been able to write a single word. And it’s sheer agony! Sheer hell! No writer ever wants to go through a period like this but unfortunately it happens alot. Usually if the writer’s block doesn’t last too long we don’t get too upset but when the days start to stretch into weeks and possibly months then Houston, we got a problem!

The best way to get rid of writer’s block is to stop it dead in its tracks before it can even start. Become proactive! And when it comes to writer’s block that exactly what a writer has to do, become proactive!

So here are some tips on how to kick writer’s block to the curb!

Writers, buy yourself a printer. It doesn’t matter if it is a dot matrix, ink jet or a laser printer, just buy yourself one! Make it a habit to regularly print off a page or two of your writing and hang it up on the wall of a place that you look at frequently throughout the day such as your bedroom wall, the bathroom or even take a couple of pages of your novel to your place of employment and hang them up in your cubicle. We writers are often inspired to write even more when we have hard proof of our accomplishments.
For you writers who are low on cash and can’t afford to buy a printer now be sure to put some of your writing in an email message or on a disc and print out a couple of pages at your local library. Also, most libraries have Microsoft Word or some other word processing program already installed on their computers so you can also write at the library too.

People let’s face it, laptops and desktops have made the typewriter cumbersome and virtually obsolete but who cares! Be a rebel and write on a typewriter sometime. Writers use this relic from the past as another way to inspire you! For instance pretend that you are a writer like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Maya Angelou, Walter Cronkite or any of your other favorite writers who had no choice but to use the typewriter to write on back in the day then create a fake pressing deadline and commit yourself to writing at least 200 words on any subject that you want. Just do it on the typewriter!

One of the things that I find that works for me when I feel writer’s block sneaking up on me is to leave notepads, notebooks, post-its and any other kind of paper such as a grocery slip everywhere around my house.
I leave paper in the kitchen, the living room, the basement, etc. and when the inspiration hits me I write whatever it is down on the paper and leave it in a special spot in that area then when I get stumped about what to write i’ll go to any one of those areas and look at what I wrote on any of those pieces of paper and the writer’s block quickly disappears.  I also find that buying different sizes of notebooks and notepads helps too plus I try to get them in different colors to really jazz things up a bit in my writing life.

This is an absolute must for me! When I write I have to use an Erasermate pen. To me, there is something so inspiring about writing with a pen that leaves blue or black ink on your hand as your jotting down a first draft of an article. I’ll tell you I have written many jokes and funny stories from this experience which is yet another way to get rid of writer’s block. Plus, it’s one of the only pens that actually erases! Cool!

Writers do yourselves a favor and tune the tv to one of your favorite television programs and during the commercial breaks do a little writing. Trust me, you’ll be amazed at how much you can get written during a half hour to a one hour show. Sometimes I have gotten into my writing so much that I forgot to watch the tv show when it came back on after the commercial.
Writers, you might also want to try watching tv shows or movies whose main characters are successful or struggling writers. For instance, I used to love the 80’s tv show, Murder She Wrote! The main character, Jessica Fletcher was a popular and sucessful mystery writer. The episodes often inspired me to get off of my lazy butt and write!

When I say write the ultimate short story, I mean write the ultimate short story in 160 characters or less. Sometimes when I am out and about on the town and hit with an idea instead of using my portable notebook that I always carry in my purse, I use my text messaging system on my phone. I key in the important words and then I send a text to myself. Sometimes I can do it all in one text message but one time I sent 57 text messages to myself on one short story.
EXTRA TIP ON THE HOUSE: To prevent my phone from getting damaged or wet I carry it around in my purse in a plastic eyeglass case.

One of the things that I do to really get my creative juices going is to write short paragraphs or even a sentence or two regularly on my blog. And writers if you don’t have a blog consider starting one of your own. There are so many places that you can do this for free such as WordPress, Blogspot, TypePad, Blogger, etc. Start a blog and write about anything. Remember, nobody’s judging you! Write about whatever you want and get feedback, positive and negative, which can also fuel your creative juices too!

Go online to CafePress or CustomInk and create your own custom buttoms, t-shirts, mugs, greeting cards, etc. They provide the items, you provide a few short words which is another way to combat writer’s block. Plus, you actually might make a few dollars in the process.

This is one of the most fun ways to get rid of writer’s block. Go to your local library or Barnes & Noble and select a book that you like and read it from cover to cover. I often find something in a book that I would like to know more about which leads me to research and eventually writing.
Also, try going to the library and selecting a book on a subject that you hate and write down why you hate it. When you do this you’ll find that your writer’s block has quickly disappeared.

Whether it be a group that meets every Tuesday at the local roller rink or a group that you can join online, joining a writer’s group can put you in an environment where you are around other people with your goals and dreams. You can hear stories of the triumphs and the heartaches of other writers which can also inspire you to put pen to paper and get rid of that writer’s block.
Yahoo has an online group for just anything and Craigslist has a community section which often lists local writer’s groups.

Sometimes the latest hot thing in technology can inspire us to write as well. One of my favorite things is the Dana Wireless made by AlphaSmart. It is often called the ultimate palm-powered writing tool. A Dana Wireless is basically a portable word processing system with internet access. You can do alot of cool things on it like write a story or read an ebook. The Dana Wireless is a fun and useful thing for a writer to own. Writers consider making an investment in this new fangled contraption!

As we all know, the learning process is a lifelong one. So continue to build on your knowledge by taking a class, seminar or workshop on any subject of your choice. For instance, I personally love comedy. One day in the future I am going to take a stand-up comedy workshop offered by the American Comedy Institute in New York.
Remember writers when we take classes in a subject that we are really interested in, it makes us happy and gives us the desire to want to learn. Often times, this can lead to writing about what we are learning.

Sometimes, I just don’t feel like writing but I want to write, if that makes any sense. To clarify, sometimes I don’t feel like typing or writing with a pen and paper but I want to compose a story or a poem so i’ll use either my microcassette recorder or the recording device on my phone to take down my words. Easy breezy! And yet another way to kiss writer’s block goodbye forever!

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Teachers, here is a fun self-esteem game that your students can play. Parents, this game can also be played at birthday parties, too. This game is called, “Blow Your Own Horn.”

-A roll of paper towels for each student
-A couple of wastepaper baskets
-A couple of brooms and dustpans
-A portable radio or cd player


1. At the beginning of class, give each child their own roll of paper towels.

2. Have each child tear off a couple of paper towels from the roll and then rip them up and put them into the wastepaper baskets. Repeat this step until all of the paper towels have been ripped up.

3. Turn on some music and encourage the kids to dance while they are ripping up the paper towels and putting them into the wastepaper baskets.

4. Once all of the paper towels have been ripped up and placed into the wastepaper
baskets. Have each child pick up the empty paper towel roll and place it to
his or her mouth and talk into it like a bullhorn.

5. Go around the room and ask each child to say something positive about
themselves into the makeshift bullhorn such as: “I’m great!”
“I’m a winner!” “I love myself!” “I’m a hardworker!”

6. Once all of the children have had a turn. Ask the children to stand up and
march around the room, single file, and have them say more positive
things about themselves into the makeshift bullhorns.

7. Encourage them to clap their hands and have a grand ol’ time.

8. Once all of the children have had another turn at saying positive things
about themselves, have each child take some of the shredded paper towels
out of the wastepaper baskets and throw them into the air and onto each
other. Teachers, let them go wild and have a grand ol’ time.

9. In between bouts of saying positive things about themselves and throwing
the shredded paper towels at each other, have each child pick a song
that they can all sing together. For the rest of the class period,

10. About 10 minutes before the class period ends, sweep up the shredded
paper towels and discard them into the wastepaper baskets and tidy up the
rest of the classroom. Have all the kids help do this. Teachers, let
any child who wants to keep their bullhorn, keep it.

-This game’s objective is to make a child feel good about his or herself
through their own positive reinforcement. Teachers, it is important for you to tell the children that although it is good for a child to hear positive things about themselves from other people, sometimes they need to hear those positive things from the most important person of all, themselves. Remember, that a person every once in a while needs to “blow their own horn.” To basically say good things about themselves because there is a chance that nobody else will.

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Lately, have you actually yawned or fallen asleep during sex? Is watching paint dry on a wall more exciting than your sex life? Is “foreplay” a foreign word to you?

If you answered, “yes,” to any of the above questions, it’s time to up the five alarm chili factor in your sex life.

“How do I do that?” some of you out there with boring and not so boring sex lives may ask.

Well, I am here to help you with that.

Before we get started, I am going to warn you that from here on in some of the things that I am going to talk about may make you feel a little uncomfortable or make your temperature rise, because let’s face it, folks, we may be living in the year 2010 but when it comes to sex we might as well still be living in the 1800s because there are still so many taboos when it comes to talking about sex especially boring or bad sex out in the open.

But folks, again let’s face it, if a person wants to really and truly improve their sex life they need to hear straight-forward information about sex no matter how uncomfortable it may make them feel.

And folks, I will promise you this. I was brought up to be a lady and I will try to be as lady-like (and not vulgar) as possible on this subject.

So let’s get started!

To add that five alarm chili factor into our sex lives we often forget one of the most important things which is to go back to basics, honey.

Remember when you were a kid what a great imagination you had? You were bold, you were fearless. Well, to get that five alarm chili factor, you have to get that childhood imagination of yours back and channel it into your adult sex life. Literally!

It’s simple, really.

Tip 1: I Want Candy!

Pay a visit to asap and try some of the following boring sex busters!

Couples, buy a couple of “candy necklaces,” put them on and whenever you feel like it take “love bites” off of each other’s necklaces. Who knows, you may not only get a few hickeys out of it just like from your teenybopper days but it may also be the inspiration that kicks off a passionate night of hot sex.

Couples, try buying some “licorice ropes” and when your lover least expects it, take them off guard by tying them to the bedpost or a chair and slowly and seductively eat off the candy binding. Fun, fun for the binder and bindee!

For an explosive kiss. couples put 2 or 3 “pop rocks” into your mouth and give your lover one hell of a french kiss! Dynomite!

Ladies, try this foreplay teaser. Before sex, open up the package containing the candy dipping stick (it looks like a long piece of chalk) from the “Lik M Aid Fun Dip Pack” then take out the candy dipping stick. Next, proceed to suckle loudly on the tip of the candy dipping stick alternating between moving it in and out of your mouth. This foreplay teaser is point blank a simulated oral sex act that most men are very familiar with and usually enjoy.

Guys, select your favorite “Pixy Stix” flavor and pour it anywhere on your lover’s body and lick it off. Trust me, it will be one of the best meals that you ever had.

Couples, give your lover a hand job by putting on a “Ring Pop” and pretend that you are a king and a queen wearing a diamond, ruby or emerald and take turns suckling on each other’s candy ring. Don’t forget to kiss each others fingertips and caress your lover’s hand too.

Basically couples, use your imagination, experiment and incorporate candy into your sex life.

Tip 2: Turn Bored Games Into Board Games!

Pay a visit to and try this boring sex buster.

Couples, remember the game, “Twister?” It’s motto was, “The game that ties you up in knots! Spin the dial, then move hands or feet from one colored circle to another!” Remember? So why not play? Shake things up by challenging your lover to a friendly game of Twister and hopefully with all of that laughing, tangled limbs, his booty in your face and your breasts in his face will make the game go from friendly to totally erotic.

Tip 3: Play Dress Up, Baby!

Pay a visit to or and try the following boring sex busters.

Couples, buy a costume, whether it be a sexy fireman, demure schoolgirl or something as silly as a big bird costume and boldly parade around your bedroom or hotel room for each other while reciting a dirty limerick, doing the moonwalk, or singing loudly off-key. Do whatever you want in that costume. The important thing is to have fun. And remember couples, having fun can lead to having great sex.

Guys, give your lady a wicked fun treat. Buy a sexy nightgown and a garter, put them on and lay down seductively across your bed. Try hard not to laugh hysterically when your lady comes home to find you dressed in women’s lingerie draped across her bed. And guys, if you can’t find a nightgown that fits you, go to your nearest fabric store and buy a couple of yards of lace in the color of your choice and wrap it around your naked body. Guys improvise and use your imagination in the bedroom for your lady’s pleasure!

Gals, if you are on a budget or strapped for cash, look no further than your own closet to turn your man on. Gals, go to your closet and put on as many layers of clothing as you can then dare your man to take off all of your clothes in a certain time frame such as 2 minutes. If he completes the challenge in the time allotted then reward him with the sexual favor of his choice.

I said it before and I will say it again for the last time, couples, use your imagination, experiment and incorporate playing dress up into your sex life and turn your boring sex life five alarm chili hot!

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