Archive for Politics

HERE ARE SOME NON-TRADITIONAL PROTEST IDEAS!


Do you want to take a stand against a certain politician but due to such things as being too shy or having flat-ass feet may prevent you from picking up a homemade sign and hitting the streets and protesting the usual way?

Well, don’t be damn discouraged!

Baby, just change your mind set!

Remember, every damn person on the planet is good at something!

So first, determine what the hell that is then go out and do it till you’re satisfied whatever it is!

For example:

-If you are a writer, then start a political blog or compose political blog posts about the politician in question.

-If you are a musician, then write a song about the politician and do some public performances of it at your local park, coffee house, house party, etc.  And don’t forget to post that baby online!

-If you have a culinary degree, then bake up a batch of cookies stuffed with a strip of paper inscribed with a political fortune message on it and then pass them out at political fundraising events.

Et cetera!  Et cetera!  Et cetera!

Just use your strengths and imagination and I guarantee you that you will make one hell of a stand!

NoMoreTearsEnoughisEnough

EnoughisEnoughNoMoreTearsUnofficialAntiTrumpSong

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TIPS ON HOW TO STOP VOTER SUPPRESSION!


Some lawmakers in states like North Carolina try to do everything under the sun to make it as difficult as possible for people who are eligible to vote, to actually cast a vote for fear that their political party won’t reign victorious.  And we all know what that bullshit is called…..voter suppression!

Here’s a tip on how to stop voter suppression:

-Go to a reputable fundraising website like GoFundMe.com and start a campaign to raise money in order to be able to give out vouchers to cash strapped eligible voters in all 50 states who are unable to purchase a state issued i.d. card or passport which includes a photo so that they can prove definitively who they are and thus be able to cast a vote for the candidate of their choice!

Hooray for democracy!

NoMoreTearsEnoughisEnough

EnoughisEnoughNoMoreTearsUnofficialAntiTrumpSong

 

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ELECTORAL COLLEGE 666, ELECTORAL COLLEGE RED & BLUE SONG!


 

-Electoral College 666, Founding fathers ingenious tricks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Hill & Gore won the pop vote, to some hooray, others boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, Makes brilliant scholars feel like dicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Red States, Blue States and Purple ones too,
-Electoral College 666, We the people don’t really pick our own president, oh fiddle sticks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Indirect democracy rules and picks your president for you,
-Electoral College 666, People vote in Nov, Electors vote in Dec amid an icy & snowy mix,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, 270 electoral votes, candidate baby, brings it all home to you,
-Electoral College 666, Discourages damn voter fraud, hey cheaters, baby yo’ plan got nix,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Swing States, Safe States any of them can flip the bird to you,

-Electoral College 666, Any foreigner messin’ with our elections best be prepared to take some licks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Trump & Bush won the EC vote, to some hooray, others boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, Us big-ass states rule the Electoral College you inferior dumb little hicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Us little-ass states in a close election can drop the bomb on you,
-Electoral College 666, I’m an Elector and i’m gonna’ vote my way, states, so screw you, I rule, pricks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, The People say honor thy State’s wishes, Electors damn well better do,
-Electoral College 666, Some say get rid of or update this outdated bitch, give it several-ass kicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Others say the Electoral College works, so suck it, crybabies, boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, For now, noone really knows how to overhaul the EC system or do a major fix,
-And Finally, Electoral College Red & Blue, For now, many discussions in support and against the Electoral College means a little drama and mayhem will always definitely ensue!

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ELECTION 2016, WHAT WILL YOU BE? A SONG WRITTEN BY TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN


Verse 1:

-Ted Cruz was the first one to break his presidential run cherry,
-Rest in peace, “Bitch, set me up”, former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry,
-Don’t ya’ll think Monica Lewinsky’s 2015 comeback is precursor-ass scary,
-On no, Election 2016, i’m starting to feel a little bit wary,
-Oh Election 2016, I need some alka seltzer, Jesus, Joseph and Mary!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 2:

-My fellow Americans if Hilary is elected her husband will fuck every intern in the White House, he likes em’ young, baby,
-My fellow Americans if any Republican is elected they will give more tax breaks to the ultra rich like the Koch brothers, loud-ass carbonated burp, honey,
-Oh shut up liberal and leave Bristol Palin and other unqualified politician’s youngin’s be,
-Go suck an egg conservative before spending some of that leftover pocketed super pac money,
-Ahhh, Election 2016, the mudslinging goal, make your political opponent look like one hell of a pussy!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 3:

-Racism, poverty, immigration, usually not problems facing the tea party,
-Democrats in regards to these problems aren’t exactly Mother Teresa saintly,
-Oh fair candidate, oh dark candidate, we oh so need you to help us fix problems like these urgently,
-Show yourself gallant sir or bewitching maiden and lead us to economic and social prosperity,
-Election 2016 candidates, show us you really care, not Obamacare, oh so swiftly!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 4:

-Candidates, try not to Aaron Schock us by spending taxpayer money ala Downton Abbey,
-Or wiping your email server clean when you are not supposed to ala Clinton Hillary,
-Stop all the bullshit and fulfill all your campaign promises to your constituency,
-Bring back honor to politics and end the stereotypical rhetoric about politicians asap,
-Then you will see more people turning out to vote in elections incessantly! (Whoopee)

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 5:

-So Republicans, rush rush to the polls and do the Limbaugh baby,
-And Democrats hurry hurry to the polls and honor the Kennedy legacy,
-And if you like to masturbate, go out and vote Independently,
-Whatever gets you off, just make your voice heard great sex loudly,
-But most of all, American red, white and blue star spangled proudly!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

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HEY TRUMP, RYAN, THE SENATE, THE HOUSE AND ALL YOU OTHER USELESS-ASS POLITICIANS, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU!


TIRED OF WAITIN’ ON HAPPINESS!

(Verse 1)

-I work hard all day,
-For crappy pay,
-Everyday to the lord I constantly pray,
-That one day things will finally go my way,
-But until then I have to sadly say,

(Chorus)

-Tired of waitin’ on happiness,
-I just want my chance,
-I don’t ever wanna’ hear the word, delay,
-If I do, someone’s gonna pay,
-Just want all the bad the hell outta’ my life,
-My heart’s had enough strife,
-I want a little happiness and I want it now,
-And I don’t give a damn exactly how,
-So tired,
-Of waitin’ on happiness,
-Yeah!

(Verse 2)

-Kids, job, life and grocery bills,
-Tears flowin’ down my cheeks at the window sill,
-Oh dear, Jesus, I just want to laugh and smile,
-Can’t cause’ my stomach’s filled with worry and bile,
-Please god can you just give me a break for a while,

(Chorus)

-Tired of waitin’ on happiness,
-I just want my chance,
-I don’t ever wanna’ hear the word, delay,
-If I do, someone’s gonna pay,
-Just want all the bad the hell outta’ my life,
-My heart’s had enough strife,
-I want a little happiness and I want it now,
-And I don’t give a damn exactly how,
-So tired,
-Of waitin’ on happiness,
-Yeah!

(Verse 3)

-I know it’s tough but i’m a fighter and will plow through,
-Sink or swim, no choice what this survivor is gonna’ do,
-I’m a good person and deserve only the best,
-Till I get the happiness I deserve, not gonna’ rest,
-But my heart tells me you’ll get it baby this is only a test,
-Be patient, happiness for you won’t be a life long quest,
-But in the meantime, vent all you want, be my guest,

(Chorus)

-Tired of waitin’ on happiness,
-I just want my chance,
-I don’t ever wanna’ hear the word, delay,
-If I do, someone’s gonna pay,
-Just want all the bad the hell outta’ my life,
-My heart’s had enough strife,
-I want a little happiness and I want it now,
-And I don’t give a damn exactly how,
-So tired,
-Of waitin’ on happiness,
-Yeah!

To purchase a license to use this lyric please go to:                 http://songbay.co/view-lyric/3833/

NoMoreTearsEnoughisEnough

EnoughisEnoughNoMoreTearsUnofficialAntiTrumpSong

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JUST LIKE THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS, MAKING FUN OF PARIS HILTON WILL ALWAYS BE IN STYLE!


Here is a spoof piece that I wrote about lame-ass heiress, Paris Hilton a couple of years ago.
Paris Hilton To Tour Flood-Damaged Iowa On July 25th!
First President George Bush did it, then John McCain did it.  And of course the next logical candidate to tour areas damaged and destroyed by massive flooding in Iowa is none other than Paris Hilton!
(Insert your snicker here!)
According to a close friend of mine from Des Moines, rumors have been swirling the past week that there have been phone conversations between Paris Hilton and Iowa Governor Chet Culver about the heiress touring flood damaged areas of Iowa with Hilton expressing an interest on touring the state on July 25th.
One question immediately sprang to my mind after being informed of this rumor.
Why the hell would this rich, spoiled, talentless self-centered woman want to tour Iowa when the state is going through such a difficult time let alone on this specific date?
My answer, who the hell knows!
But this is one writer who’s not going to pass up an opportunity to speculate why.
So, here is my list of the top 10 reasons why Paris Hilton wants to tour flood damaged Iowa on July 25th:
10.  When Hilton was released from jail due to violating her probation last year she vowed to visit Rwanda, but as of this date hasn’t, and let’s face it, never will because of her “busy” schedule so she probably figured visiting Iowa was good enough because it’s a foreign country too.
9.   Her pampered pooch, Tinkerbell threatened to sell her latest sex tape in high definition 3D if she didn’t get her bony butt out of the state for awhile and give her a break.  (As if Iowans haven’t suffered enough from the floods already, here comes Paris Hilton to wreck the day!)
8.   As the self-proclaimed “iconic blonde of the decade” she felt it was her duty to spread goodwill to Iowa through her blondness and stupidness.
7.   ARE YOU KIDDING!  Touring flood damaged Iowa is a major photo op baby and there ain’t no way in hell Paris Hilton is gonna’ miss out on that action!
6.   Being voted the second “worst celebrity role model of 2006” behind Britney Spears has inspired her to try to change her image.  (Good luck honey because that just ain’t gonna’ happen in this lifetime!)
5.   Paris is pissed off at her latest boytoy, Benji Madden for saying that the late great superstar acting dog, Benji was “hotter” than Tinkerbell.  (Now that’s hot!)
4.  Paris plans on holding a “famous for being famous” rally Howard Dean-style in Iowa to find a new bff.  (Because not only is she going to Iowa, Howard Dean she’s going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and then she’s going to California and Texas and New York … And then she’s going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan, and when she finally finds her new bff they are going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House! Yeah!)
3.  Paris wants to give away free copies of her flop movie, The Hottie and the Nottie, to try to cheer victims of the Iowa flood up.  (Omigod!)
2.  Paris is hoping to get an autographed picture of Iowa band, Slipknot, to sell on ebay to help raise money for the victims of the flood rather than digging into her own deep pockets.
1.   She wants publicity, pure and simple, for her upcoming movie, song, clothing line, perfume, dog adoption, runway gig, burger commercial or whatever else this chick is trying  to shove down the American public’s throats.  (Ewww, gross!)
Hey Paris, do everyone a favor and especially Iowa, stay at home!

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HERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT I LOVED ABOUT THE 2013 INAUGURATION OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!


I watched the inauguration on NBC and I loved the following:

– All the tweets from Twitter that NBC would broadcast throughout their coverage of the inauguration.
(My personal faves: A tweet from a person who said that back in 2009 both her and her spouse were unemployed but as of 2013 they both have jobs! Hooray! And a tweet from a mother watching the inauguration with her young son who thought the inauguration was boring! P.S. Hey kid, when I was your age, I thought the same thing too!)

– President Obama’s speech where he advocated the rights of Gay Americans! Hooray! (P.S. To all gay Americans, I hope one day that you get the respect and rights that other Americans takes oh so for granted!)

– The two beautiful sculptures of Dr. Martin Luther King!

– Al Roker’s hilarious attempts and success when it came to getting both President Obama and Vice President Biden to acknowledge him. P.S. Hey Al, you rock! You ain’t no ordinary weatherman you are superman!

– The attention that Second Lady, Dr. Jill Biden got from the media, the political community, Americans in general and the whole wide world. P.S. Jill, I thought you looked fantastic on Inauguration Day and it made me very happy to see some of the spotlight focused on you instead of entirely on Michelle Obama! You go, girl!

– Vice President Joe Biden darting here and darting there during the Inauguration parade and looking so damn young and spry doing it!

– Young first daughter, Sasha Obama yawning during the inauguration.

– Seeing former President Jimmy Carter’s beautiful infectious smile!

– Seeing the Republicans and the Democrats come together in lieu of their usual fighting.

– All of the beautiful people from all over the world who braved the cold to watch history in the making.

– President Obama acknowledging Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut.

– James Taylor’s stint as a political correspondent and his performance of the song, America the Beautiful, of course.

All in all, I thought it was a great inauguration and I am looking so forward to Inauguration 2017!

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THE FOREVER UNTIL THE END OF TIME CONSTANTLY DEBATED QUESTION: WHICH GENDER SHOULD PAY FOR THE DATE……….


Putting all tampons and jock straps aside, in all fairness……….

The guy should pay for the first date.

The gal should pay for the second date.

The guy and the gal should both go halfsies and pay for the third date.

And that good for nothing president of ours should pay for the rest of the dates.

(After all, it’s only fair and equals out in the cutting necessary social services programs and not receiving a decent cost of living increase in years Obama economy.)

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TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S POP CULTURE DICTIONARY (VOLUME 13) WHAT IS A STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS BUG UP THE ASS?


(Definition) A State Of The Union Address Bug Up The Ass is literally a nasty-ass fungus or infection that goes straight up into your butthole and eventually settles itself in your brain and drives you absolutely bonkers once a year due to your favorite tv show, movie, commercial, video or infommercial being preempted by the President’s Stupid Ol’ Annual State Of The Union Address because like the subject trigonometry that you learn in high school the information in the President’s Annual State Of The Union Address is something that most Americans will never use and this major inconvenience really pisses alot of Americans the fuck off.

I will now use this phrase in a sentence to clarify its meaning.

“Dude, stay the fuck away from Constance for the rest of the day because she’s not only got a major case of Baby Fever but she’s also got a wicked nasty State Of The Union Address Bug Up The Ass! Dude, you know how much her totally obsessed ass worships those Johnson’s Baby Shampoo commercials. Dude, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay the fuck away from her!”

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RETRO PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION GEMS: HEY BARACK & MICHELLE OBAMA: FOR YOUR CAMPAIGN’S SAKE, SHUT YOUR YAPS!


This is a humor piece that I wrote for the 2008 Presidential Election back in April 2008 on Instablogs. So turn back the clocks and reminise!

Picture it! I’m using my best “valley girl” voice circa 1983.

Okay, like, Barack Obama said like the people in rural Pennsylvania are bitter and angry.

Which was like sooo totally lame!

But I like forgive him because he’s such a total hunk!

He’s so tubular! Omigod!

And his wife, Michelle like totally said for the first time in her adult life, she was proud of her country.

Which was like so grody to the max!

But I like totally forgive her because her husband is such a total hunk!

He’s so tubular! Omigod!

Okay, I have to stop this right now. I mean, I love the 80’s but it’s time to say goodbye to my “valley girl” voice and the 80’s and move on from this retro reminising.

Besides it’s giving me a headache! (Or it could be the Olivia Newton-John headband that I am wearing around my head that could be giving me the headache. But I digress.)

Anyhoo, before I say goodbye to the 80’s completely, (I love you Deborah Foreman and Nicholas Cage! You guys did an awesome job in the movie!) there is one thing that I have to say.

Hey Barack & Michelle Obama, shut your yaps!

I mean, haven’t you idiots learned anything?

When the hell will politicians and their boring wives learn that when you are running for president of the United States of America and want to be president of the United States of America basically you can’t say a damn thing, zip, nada!

You have to keep your damn mouth shut about everything!

Barack, you can ask your grocer, doctor or even your car salesman to talk for you but you have to keep your mouth shut or it’s career suicide!

Basically you’ll never win the election if you say something!

Let’s face it, whenever a politician opens his or her mouth they are absolutely guaranteed to offend somebody.

At this time, I would like to send a shout out to rural Pennsylvania! How ya’ll feelin’ today?

So here’s a little advice to any politician out there considering running for president of the United States of America, always remember that Americans don’t have thick skin, they don’t let bygones be bygones, they don’t believe in that bullshit–sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Americans get pissed off over the littlest thing!

So Barack and Michelle, for your campaign’s sake, shut your yaps!

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RETRO PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION GEMS: WHY AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW THAT DICK CHENEY HAS HIS OWN OFFICIAL VICE PRESIDENTIAL DIGS?


This is a piece that I wrote back in May 2008 on Instablogs for the 2008 Presidential Election. So jump into the retro time machine and enjoy a gem from 2008!

Hey!

Am I the only person in the United States of America who didn’t know that there was a Vice Presidential Mansion?

I feel so dumb!

I feel so left out!

I’m really hurt!

To think that I had to hear about this interesting fact on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno while he was telling a joke!

How come they didn’t teach this stuff back in the 70’s when I was in elementary school!

Damn catholic schools!

Why am I always the last to know things!

Why couldn’t I have read it in a text book in school just like everybody else!

Why must I always be left out of the loop!

I’m really hurt!

In fact, i’m devastated!

I just hope I have the fortitude to finish writing this story.

(Okay Tina, enough of this pity party, you can do it! Channel your emotions and finish writing this story! Okay?)

(Okay!)

P.S. I was briefly talking to myself but that’s over with now and i’m talking to you.

Anyhoo back to the show!

I mean, I knew that the Vice President lived somewhere, I knew the guy wasn’t exactly homeless or anything but I never thought that he had his own OFFICIAL residence!

It just sounds so formal!

You go, boy!

No offense to the Veep an all, but for me, i’m mostly all about the President and think of our Vice President as an afterthought.

But this whole Vice Presidential mansion thing has me looking at this guy in a whole new light.

I feel kinda’ proud of the guy.

Go figure!

Hey!

For those of you out there like me who also didn’t know that the Veep had an official residence either here’s a little info.

His digs are called Number One Observatory Circle.

A weird name I first thought too until I found out that the joint was located on the grounds of the United States Naval Observatory in Washington D.C. hence the name.

Duh!

The house was built in 1893 and Vice President Walter Mondale was the first Veep to live in the house full-time and every Veep since then has lived at Number One Observatory Circle.

Cool beans!

Gee whiz, why am I always the last person to know about things!

I just hope that there’s nothing else about the Veep that I don’t know.

If Dick Cheney has an Air Force 2 airplane or a tacky intern mistress ala’ Monica Lewinsky that everybody else knows about but me, i’m going to be totally pissed!

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