Posts tagged Black

WOULD PRESIDENT OBAMA WANT MALIA AND SASHA TO TAKE THE PURITY PLEDGE?


I recently watched an episode of the tv news/entertainment show, Inside Edition where they did a feature story on Purity Balls.

And for those of you out there thinking that Inside Edition did a story on males with squeaky clean testicles, your dead wrong!

A Purity Ball is a formal party that is thrown where young girls wearing beautiful white ball gowns make a solemn vow to their fathers wearing black or white tie to abstain from having sex until they are married.

And folks, they are becoming more and more popular! Go figure!

Here are a few thoughts that I have on Purity Balls:

– In terms of teenage girls abstaining from sex until they’re hitched, i’m all for it because let’s face it a girl only gets to be young once in her life and for me that means going to college, traveling to different places and doing fun things without the encumbrances of adult life, i.e taking care of a constantly crying newborn baby when the girl who just gave birth to this baby is practically a baby herself!

– But in terms of Purity Balls when it comes to me personally I have to honestly say that I could never make such a solemn vow to abstain from sex until marriage because to me one of the most important parts of a healthy lasting relationship is good sex. It is an absolute requirement that I be sexually compatible with my man and for me the worst Purity Ball fear is that if I waited until after I was married to have sex with my man and found out that he was lousy in bed could I stay with this person forever knowing this no matter how much I loved him. Folks, i’m a person who likes to know exactly what I am getting when I buy or invest in something. I mean don’t get me wrong I like surprises every once in a while but in terms of the Purity Ball thing, no freakin’ way!

–  So in terms of Purity Balls not being the right thing for me personally i’m glad that they are the right thing for alot of other people out there especially teenage girls. And I hope to see more young girls making that solemn vow to abstain from sex until marriage and I really hope to see Purity Balls with young teenage males and their mothers making that solemn vow too!

– And last but not least,  no offense,  Purity Balls and people who participate in them are also a tad bit creepy to me.

P.S.     Although I applaud the general theory of the Purity Ball, I ain’t gonna’ lie and say that there is a little part of me that totally delights in a girl who thinks that she is better and more god fearing than you and has sworn up and down that she will not have sex until she’s married only to get knocked up and busted a short time later for being a total fraud and hypocrite.

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I JUST RECEIVED A NICE EMAIL FROM SARAH SULLIVAN OF WBYY – 98.7 THE BAY & BRUNCH BY THE BAY!


(September 17, 2012)

When I opened up my email just a few minutes ago, I was surprised to find a nice email from New Hampshire DJ extraordinaire herself, Sarah Sullivan of WBYY – 98.7 The Bay and the kick-ass Sunday morning 10 am – 12 noon radio show, Brunch By The Bay.

Here it is:

(Beginning of Email)

(Sunday, September 16, 2012 8:27 PM)

From:  *sarah@987thebay.com” sarah@987thebay.com

To:  *Peden Tina” tinapeden2003@yahoo.com
Hey Tina!
I read your blog. Thank you for the correction! I was sure Rapture came out in 1979, but I was El-wrong-o! My apologies! This coming Sunday, I’ll make the correction. It will give me a good excuse to play the Sugar Hill Gang!
Feel free to make suggestions for the show. I could use help from a fellow music lover! I always have my ears open for great music.
All the best!
Sarah
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
(End of Email)
Folks, you gotta’ love a female DJ with the balls to admit that she was wrong and plays the Sugar Hill Gang’s Rappers Delight on her popular Sunday morning radio show!
Sarah Sullivan, 98.7 The Bay, Garrison City Broadcasting, The Sugar Hill Gang, Kurtis Blow, Blondie & Rap Songs you guys totally rock!

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SARAH SULLIVAN OF WBYY – 98.7 THE BAY & BRUNCH BY THE BAY – LET ME OLD SCHOOL YOU AND YOUR RADIO STATION, HONEY! “RAPTURE” BY BLONDIE WAS NOT THE FIRST RAP SONG!


(September 16, 2012)

I sure as hell hope that I don’t start a race war with this one but I gotta’ keep it real and tell Sarah Sullivan, a disc jockey on New Hampshire’s 98.7 The Bay Radio Station that “Rapture” by Blondie is not the first rap song.

At approximately 11:00 am this morning on her popular radio show, Brunch By The Bay, Sarah Sullivan introduced the song “Rapture” by Blondie as “The First Rap Song” and with that opened up a big-ass can of racial worms! So, here we go!

“Rapture” by Blondie was the first rap-influenced song to reach number one on the Billboard Music Charts in early 1981.

But Rapper Kurtis Blow’s influencial rap song, “The Breaks” hit the Billboard Charts much earlier in 1980 peaking at number 87.

While the Sugar Hill Gang’s rap song, “Rappers Delight” hit the Top 40 on the Billboard Music Charts on January 5, 1980 making it the first rap song to ever hit the music charts.

And way, way, way before even these history making boys and girl, other rappers in the late 1970’s in places ranging from New York to California had already created popular rap songs that were played and sold around their neighborhoods only. So rap music was out and about way way way before Blondie’s hit rap-influenced song, “Rapture” ever came out.

Blondie’s place in rap history is that they brought rap to the white masses and diversified it.

And in this black girl’s opinion, they did a damn good job because I absolutely love the song!

So Sarah Sullivan of 98.7 The Bay & The Bay Radio Station, please get your facts straight before you broadcast them to the New Hampshire masses so you can avoid blog posts like this from pissed off rap fans like me.

P.S.    Sarah, even though I feel that your statement on the air was false this morning, I still love your show! Keep up the good work  Sarah, Garrison City Broadcasting & Robert Demers!  But be sure to precheck your facts!

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THE TOP 10 THINGS TO AVOID DOING IF YOU WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AS A PROFESSIONAL RAPPER!


10. Avoid having your prep school buddies tell back in the day stories about you.

9. Avoid having talking parrots named “Peepsta” talk shit about you behind your back.

8. Avoid having a one-name professional stage name like Bret, Kippy or Witherspoon.

7. Avoid having white people walk beside you at daytime instead of moving across the street.

6. Avoid having respected rappers like Ice-T, Dr. Dre or Snoop Dogg diss you in a rap song.

5. Avoid starring in a lame-ass movie like “Are We There Yet” and star in a kick-ass tv show like “Law & Order SVU”. (Hey Ice Cube, I applaud the showing of a loving caring black father but overall the movie still sucked! Sorry brother, just telling it like it is! And Ice-T, I love the show and your cop character, Fin Tutuola! From rapping about killing cops to portraying one. You’ve come a long way, baby! In the good sense, of course.)

4. Avoid attending National Organization of Women rallies where you bust out rhymes like “Everybody let’s get this party started! So I want all of ya’ll to say strong confident woman, strong confident woman!” When a more appropriate professional rapper would have busted out a rhyme like “Everybody let’s get this party started! So I want all of ya’ll to say ho! Say ho ho ho ho!” (P.S. Professionalism goes a long way in the rap world!)

3. Avoid ripping off the names of kick-ass legendary actors like “Al Pacino” and going by a totally lame-ass variation of it like “Alpa Chino” in real life or in fictional kick-ass movies like Tropic Thunder. (P.S. This black female writer thinks that talented-ass white actor, Robert Downey Jr. did a totally kick-ass performance as black Sargeant Lincoln O’Siris in the kick-ass movie, Tropic Thunder!)

2. Avoid writing a song for use in real life or in a fictional movie like Tropic Thunder where you repeatedly say, “I love the pussy! Hell yeah! I love the pussy! Hell yeah!” When you clearly love the penis. More specifically former N’Sync boy band member and passable actor, Lance Bass’ penis! (Ewww, gross!)

1. Avoid having a totally talented-ass but scary-ass especially when it comes to his ex-wife, Kim, white rapper like Eminem (a.k.a. Marshall Mathers) give you any kind of praise whatsoever! (P.S. Eminem may be a totally talented-ass scary-ass multi-million dollar numerous number one songs rapper but he is a totally talented-ass scary-ass multi-million dollar numerous number one songs WHITE rapper which to the world of rap which is predominantly BLACK is a total negative. God Bless Rap In America And God Please Eliminate Reverse Racism In America!)

WARNING & SPECIAL NOTE: If you are a BLACK rapper who either is from Stamford Connecticut or has parents with white collar jobs avoid going into rap at all because you’ll never be taken seriously and will be constantly dissed for not being poor or not growing up in a bad neighborhood! But if you are black rappers in the above situations who absolutely insist on going into rap because it is your God given right, then perhaps take a play out of the Black But Totally Middle Class Will Smith Play Book and rap only about things that you know like “Parents Just Don’t Understand” Middle Class Stuff. And in your case black rappers from Stamford Connecticut or whose parents have white collar jobs try rapping about your country club woes or which college should I go to in the fall woes and the rap world just may accept and only snicker a little at you.

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TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN’S SEX & FOOD GUIDE! (VOLUME 2)


Hey guys, bisexual gals or straight up lesbians, if you wake up one morning and decide to have some super cinnamon toast for breakfast or in sex terms, a life sized inflatable black female doll slathered from head to toe with warm butter, cinnamon and sugar and are ready to chow down on it but all of a sudden the doll bursts and starts to deflate, take my knowledgeable advice and don’t get your panties or any other organ into a wad, simply turn a bitter lemon into sweet lemonade meaning instead of having yummy super cinnamon toast for your breakfast have yummy super cinnamon flat ass pancakes instead. As Campbell Soup and inflatable doll aficionados say, “Mmmm, mmmm good!”

KNOWLEDGEABLE TIP:   Remember people, when it comes to good yummy sex one must do as the successful comedians do: Improvise, improvise, improvise! In sex terms, Improvisation and The Second City Comedy Club in Chicago totally rules!

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SHAMROCK GIRL QUOTES (QUOTE 10)


Quote from Jannah Janu of The Adventures of Shamrock Girl series,  “Yes I do! I speak english! I’m not dumb!”

To read the comic book style short story in which this quote came from please click, Shamrock Girl & The Story of Jytrimillya!

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WHETHER HE IS CONVICTED OR ACQUITTED OF ANY CRIME RELATED TO TRAYVON MARTIN, GEORGE ZIMMERMAN’S LIFE IS OVER REGARDLESS


Whether he is a cold-blooded murderer or simply a man who was justifiably protecting himself from harm or whether he is a die-hard racist or a man who simply made a negative remark without thinking because let’s face it, it does happen to all of us at one time or another, even if George Zimmerman doesn’t get charged with second degree murder or a hate crime or a civil lawsuit or any other charge that people can think of to throw at him to avoid a race riot, basically this man’s life is over.

And to me that’s sad.

People let’s face it, even though in Mr. Zimmerman’s case there is compelling evidence to suggest that he was indeed acting in self-defense (although in Mr. Martin’s defense I do believe that Mr. Zimmerman did instigate the scuffle that broke out between them) his life is still over in America and especially in  Black America.  (Because to most of Black America he will always be the ultimate symbol of injustice for blacks in the American legal system.)

For instance, if Mr. Zimmerman is ever convicted of one of the crimes that he will eventually be accused of and eventually goes to jail, he’ll have to deal with the black inmates of that prison either wanting to kill him or beat the shit out of him on a regular basis for what he did to Trayvon.

Or………………..

If Mr. Zimmerman is never charged with any crime related to the Trayvon Martin case he’ll still have to deal with the many angry black people all across America who think he got away with murder and alot of people in this case are not willing to let this issue go so Mr. Zimmerman’s only options in this case is to either go into hiding, move out of the country or get extensive plastic surgery which totally sucks!

It is unfortunately a no-win situation for this man all around.

So people always remember that on February 26th 2012, not only did a 17 year old black boy’s life end but a 28 year old white/hispanic man’s life ended as well.

And that’s a damn shame for both of them being so young and all.

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SO DAMN WHAT IF HISPANICS WILL DO JOBS THAT EVEN BLACK PEOPLE WON’T DO!


As a black person myself one of the the things that really pisses me off is when an advocate in favor of making an illegal Hispanic immigrant’s status legal use the argument, “Hispanics will do jobs that even Blacks won’t do.”

Generally people the jobs that these advocates are referring to are menial labor/extremely low paying jobs.

My response to this is “Excuse me, but I thought that the United States of America was a free country where one of the luxuries is that a person regardless of race has the right to choose whatever job that they want.” And I believe that if a Black person doesn’t want to do that job then that’s their God given American right!

People, what I truly admire about these crafty advocate bastards is the way that they create a big-ass smoke screen by diverting a person’s attention away from the true issue and that issue being that these Hispanics have entered the USA illegally and not only aren’t supposed to be here but haven’t earned the right to be here either! To put it simply, they are breaking the law! And in my opinion they sure as hell shouldn’t be rewarded for it, in other words, granted American citizenship just because they will do jobs that even Blacks won’t do. That’s nothing but a copout and a failure to take responsibility for their illegal actions and that ain’t right!

Incidentally at this time, I would like to send a great big ol’ shout out to all of those kick-ass immigrants, white, black, brown, red, yellow, etc. from all over the world who have filled out a shitload of paperwork and given themselves completely over to answering many questions and being constantly investigated just so that they could enter this fine country of ours legally. Hey kick-ass immigrants, you have made our dear lady of liberty damn proud! God bless you new fangled Americans and God bless America!

Anyhoo getting back to the subject. Regarding these so-called jobs that Hispanics will do, in terms of employment, you have two kinds of employers when dealing with this issue. First, those employers who knowingly hire illegal Hispanic immigrants and second, those employers that are totally unaware of an illegal Hispanic immigrant’s legal status.

In these terms, to me it’s simple really. If you are an employer who knowingly hires an illegal Hispanic immigrant then you are just as guilty as they are (You’re breaking the law, idiot!) and you should be punished accordingly right along with them. And if you are an employer who accidentally hires an illegal Hispanic immigrant then you need to work with the INS or your local police department to rectify this situation.

People, I am not a racist but a realist. I know that everything in life is not black and white or in this case, black and brown. I know that there are alot of innocent illegal Hispanic immigrants who may be here illegally for several good reasons such as a safety issue like they will be killed if they return to Cuba or Mexico for standing up for a cause that might be illegal in their country or the illegal Hispanic immigrant is very poor and only enters the United States to make a better life for their child.

Part of me really sympathizes with them on some of these situations but however sad that these situations are these illegal immigrants are still breaking the law. And since these illegal immigrants want to be legal citizens of America so bad that they are willing to break the law they have to take all of America including their justice system. And being here in America illegally is a crime. A crime that has consequences and repercussions.

Furthermore I know that alot of these advocates will say places like Las Vegas’ economy will shut down if illegal Hispanic immigrants are deported but I laugh at these imbeciles because deep down in my heart I truly believe that America will take a major hit but like the beautiful summer sun she will rise no matter what! America is a powerhouse, an unstoppable force that you can’t stop from overcoming. And I truly believe that it can survive the deportation of millions of illegal Hispanic immigrants.

P.S. Look at our current economy, which totally sucks, with all these illegal Hispanic immigrants and tell me if it is truly better now with all of them still here.

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HEY GAY GUYS, HERE’S A SPECIAL VALENTINE’S DAY TREAT JUST FOR YOU!


This is a humor piece written especially for all of you gay guys out there! Enjoy!

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I know that alot of you fellows will be going home to spend the holiday with your families. Some of you will also be taking along your future husband-to-be to meet your parents for the first time.

Gay Guys, fathers you really don’t have to worry about because basically as long as the boyfriend doesn’t drink up all of the beer, eat up all of the hamburgers and chocolate marshmallow hearts, talk too much or block the television while a sporting event is on they’re okay with Dad, but when it comes to Mothers and their gay sons, guys watch out!

Gay Guys, let me give you a valuable piece of advice, a couple of days before you make the trip to his parent’s house be sure to pump your boyfriend thoroughly for details on his Mother. Ask him about things that she likes and MOST IMPORTANTLY things that she doesn’t like done in her house especially during the Valentine’s Day holiday! To give you an idea of exactly what I am talking about, I have included a couple of examples below of what not to do in your boyfriend’s mamas house if you want to continue to keep that big-ass 7 carat diamond ring on your finger.

ATHEIST MAMA HOUSE RULE:
“Don’t ever disrespect the actress, Jodie Foster in front of your boyfriend’s Atheist Mama! What are you crazy!”

Gay Guys, ever since her iconic and to atheists everywhere inspirational role in the movie, “Contact” as Dr. Eleanor Arroway, you know the “I-don’t-believe-in-God-I-believe-in-Science character she portrayed, Jodie Foster has achieved “God-like” status in every atheist home around the world.

So, before your boyfriend takes you home to meet his Atheist Mama for the first time, memorize the following words below.

“Praise Jodie, Love Jodie, Be One With Jodie But Don’t Ever Disrespect Jodie!”

Remember, when you are talking to your boyfriend’s Atheist Mama try to say as many nice things about Jodie Foster as you possibly can. I have included two examples below.

Example 1:
“The roast and potatoes that you cooked for dinner tonight Mrs. Watson tasted fantastic but Jodie Foster could have done a much better job than you.”

Example 2:
“I just loved the movie, “Freaky Friday” Ms. Jones! You know the one with Jodie Foster not the remake with that skank ho’ alcoholic Lindsay Lohan.”

Really lay it on thick! Really butter your boyfriend’s Atheist Mama up!

SPANISH SPEAKING MAMA HOUSE RULE:
“What the hell did she say? Don’t tell a Spanish Speaking Mama that you speak the Spanish language when you don’t!”

Gay Guys, if your definition of speaking Spanish consists of words and phrases like “mucho hungry”, “yucky agua”, “delicious tortilla”, “nice sombrero” or “I love Jose Cuervo tequila” i’m here to tell you that’s not speaking Spanish! Well, I mean technically it is because you have used a couple of Spanish words but just because you know a couple of Spanish words doesn’t mean that you are fluent in the Spanish language.

So don’t go telling a Spanish Speaking Mama that you speak Spanish when you clearly don’t!

Gay Guys, if you are stupid enough to disregard my words be prepared for the rest of the Valentine’s Day holiday to have your boyfriend’s Spanish Speaking Mama calling you every derogatory Spanish name in the book and to your face while you’re nodding your head, “yes” because you don’t know what the hell she is saying because you don’t speak Spanish. You’ll look like a damn fool and ain’t no way a Spanish Speaking Mama is going to let her baby marry a damn fool like you!

Boyfriend, stop the madness and take a “How to Speak Spanish Class” asap!

OVERWEIGHT MAMA HOUSE RULE:
“Lick it up baby! Eat whatever food your boyfriend’s Overweight Mama puts on your damn plate and you won’t have no problems!”

When it comes to an Overweight Mama you had better damn well eat whatever food she puts on your plate and it doesn’t matter if you don’t like it or are allergic to it, just suck it up and eat it bitch!

Gay Guys, if you don’t, an Overweight Mama will have it set in her mind that you’re a bitch who is anorexic or bulemic (even though you may be fatter than she is) and she’s not going to let you take her son down with your bony-ass. So, basically she will be testing you all through the Valentine’s Day holiday by giving you big-ass plates of food. Most of it will be stuff that you don’t like. Just remember that the only reason she is doing this is because you are so skinny. (Well, at least in her mind you are skinny if you don’t eat the food that she puts on your plate.) Yes, I know that this is discrimination but who says that life is fair! Just suck it up and deal with it! Simply eat whatever food your boyfriend’s Overweight Mama puts on your plate! Also be prepared to lick the plate clean!

Gay Guys, you might want to consider not eating anything for at least two days before you go to your boyfriend’s Overweight Mama’s house to really show her that you have a “healthy” appetite.

For future visits you might want to present your boyfriend’s Overweight Mama with copies of grocery, takeout and delivery food receipts to prove to her that you ARE feeding her baby and not starving him to death if the relationship develops into something more serious. Just think Gay Guys, you’ll only have to do this for the first three years of your marriage but then you’re home free!

BLACK MAMA HOUSE RULE:
“Oh no he didn’t! Don’t crack your gum up in a Black Mama’s House!”

It doesn’t matter if you are a Black, White, Hispanic, Asian or Indian, Gay Guy DON’T I repeat DON’T come up into a Black Mama’s house smackin’ and poppin’ on ANY kind of gum because this is the fastest way to get the watermelon or spearmint flavored taste knocked out of your mouth!

Don’t be no fool!

To a Black Mama smackin’ and poppin’ on gum up in her house is the ultimate sign of disrespect and that won’t be tolerated!

So, don’t do it unless you have a serious death wish! (At this time I would like to send a shout out to the late Charles Bronson.)

Major Sucking Up Tip: Bring along a couple of packs of Juicy Fruit, Wrigley’s Spearmint, Bazooka, Dentyne, Chiclets and Bubble Yum Bubble Gum and present them as a gift to your boyfriend’s Black Mama.

Always remember that a Black Mama can smack and pop on gum up in her own house but you sure as hell can’t!

SEXY MAMA HOUSE RULE:
“Zip it! Mind your own damn business when it comes to your boyfriend’s mamas sexy wardrobe!”

Let’s face it, just because a woman turns 40, 50 or 60 doesn’t mean that she stops being sexy. There are many older women like Tina Turner, Goldie Hawn and Sophia Loren whose sexiness defies age HOWEVER this does not apply to your boyfriend’s mama.

So Gay Guys, when your boyfriend’s 69 year old Sexy Mama opens the front door wearing a crotch-length black skirt, pink midriff shirt and the most gaudy pair of black stilettos that you have ever seen, do yourself and your boyfriend a favor and keep your damn mouth shut! If you have a negative comment keep your damn mouth shut! If you have a positive comment keep your damn mouth shut! Bite your tongue or lip but do whatever the hell you have to do to keep quiet about your boyfriend’s mamas sexy wardrobe!

Gay Guys PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t say a damn thing because if you do a Sexy Mama will quickly tell you that the way she dresses is none of your goddamn business cause’ you don’t pay none of her bills and don’t do a damn thing for her! So who the hell is some stranger to tell her how to dress! So mind your own damn business!

Gay Guys, just send a word of thanks up to God that your mother doesn’t dress like a dime store hooker like your boyfriend’s mama does.

But most importantly Gay Guys, pray to God, I mean pray like hell that your boyfriend’s Sexy Mama will want to spend the Valentine’s Day holiday at home and won’t want to go out to dinner because you’ll just die of embarrassment if you have to go out in public with your boyfriend’s Hoochie, I mean Sexy Mama dressed like that! Amen!

And to the rest of the mamas that I didn’t have time to mention in this article, gay guys just use your common sense and think with the big head when it comes to meeting your future hubbie’s mama for the first time this Valentine’s Day and you will be just fine!

Have a good one!

P.S. Atheist Mamas Love Jodie Foster and the movie, Contact!

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TOP 10 REASONS TO BE GLAD THE REVEREND AL SHARPTON ISN’T RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN THE 2012 ELECTION!


Number 10: If you are a White person and don’t vote for him, basically you are a racist.

Number 9: If you are a Hispanic person and don’t vote for him, basically you are a racist.

Number 8: If you are a Asian person and don’t vote for him, basically you are a racist.

Number 7: If you are a race, nationality or creed other than the above and don’t vote for him basically you are a racist.

Number 6: If you are a Black person and don’t vote for him, you are not only a traitor but you should be kicked out of the Black race just like Michael Jackson.

Number 5: If you are not a Black person and use the phrase, “That’s the pot calling the kettle black”, basically you are a racist.

Number 4: If he catches you buying a can of green olives at the supermarket basically you are a racist because you didn’t do the Reverend Jeremiah “Wright” thing and buy the black olives.

Number 3: If he sees you eating white, brown, red and yellow jelly beans and not eating the black jelly beans basically you are a racist.

Number 2: If you make any kind of racial slur (i.e. the “n” word or nappy-headed ho) and truly regret your hateful words afterward, be prepared to appear on his radio show for a severe scolding only to be told that you are a racist who will never be forgiven which is the perfect message a man of the cloth should be sending out. (Hey Don Imus, I can feel your pain!)

Number 1: Bouffant’s in your face twenty-four hours a day until November 2012! No! No! No! Say it isn’t so! (I’m sorry but a Black
Man wearing a bouffant hairdo is just plain wrong at least from this Black Woman who just wrote this blog post point of view!)

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HERE IS A POEM THAT I WROTE ESPECIALLY FOR CAT LOVERS AND…. OH YEAH, THOSE PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO MASTERBATE!


And it goes a little something like this!

My cat just caught me masterbating!

Oh, it was so fucking embarrassing and extremely degrading!

I mean, one day I woke up so horny that I didn’t feel like waiting for my boyfriend, John,

So I took out my pink jelly rabbit vibrator and decided to get it the hell on!

I turned on some music then stripped off all of my clothes until I was butt-ass bare,

Then stuck the quivering vibrator into my vagina right below my clit and curly black pubic hair.

After 18 minutes I was in heaven nothing else mattered I didn’t have a care,

But then I heard a noise from over there.

I thought I was alone I slowly looked over in despair.

My cat was sitting on my bedroom windowsill watching me with a disgusted shocked-ass stare!

Oh the injustice of it all, it was not fucking fair!

To be caught by my cat masterbating with my freshly waxed legs thrown high in the air!

I felt so awful so full of shame!

My damn cat caught me when I barely just came!

Unfortunately things between me and my cat will never be the same!

Because I got caught by my cat masterbating to the song, “Give It To Me Baby” courtesy of soul singer Rick James!

By the by, I would like to send a heavenly shout out to the funkmaster himself, Rick James! Rick, I am and always will be a big fan of your music! Rest in peace nasty baby, rest in peace! And this heavenly shout out Rick was sent out up to you from Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden, bitch! That’s right heavenly funkmaster, you’re Rick James, bitch and i’m Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden, bitch!

Also, I love and really miss the Rick James comedy skits that brilliant comedian, Dave Chappelle from the Chappelle Show used to do! They were fantastic!

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