Posts tagged Celebrate

“OH CHRIST, I GOT BABY FEVER!” A SONG AND PRAYER WRITTEN BY TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN!


Hey since retailers start selling Christmas merchandise so early anyway I decided to jump on their bandwagon and do a revamping of a song that I wrote back in January 2012.  Enjoy and have yourself an early Merry Christmas! And Happy Early Birthday, Jesus!

This song can either be performed in the spoken word or it can be sung.

Verse 1:

Hey mom, gross, I really hate this chicken croquette,

I can’t eat this crap if i’m going to be a Radio City Music Hall Rockette,

Just you wait and see mama i’m gonna’ be the best dancer on that stage yet,

With the best-looking gams in the whole wide world, a perfect high-kicking set,

Oh mom will you please give me a break and quit harpin’ on my lousy ettiquette,

Mom, I really do love ya’ but you are the lamest chick that I have ever met!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a mommy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 2:

Hey dad, I really love this corndog on a stick,

But I can’t have too many of them if i’m gonna’ be a New York Knick,

Just you wait and see papa i’m gonna’ be selected first round draft pick,

With the best darn jump shot in the league cause’ my skills are seriously sick,

Oh dad, will you please give me a break i’m not a stamp that needs a lick,

Dad, I really love ya’ but there are plenty of ballplayers like me with a stubborn cowlick,

So leave my hair alone and stop crying those totally lame proud parent tears like really quick!

They are sooo gross, I mean really dad, ick!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 3:

Bottles and booties all over the place, everywhere,

Many sleepless nights and wild-looking disheveled hair,

I’m not talking to you dad cause’ i’m grounded glued to this rotten chair,

Young man, i’m only doing this so you’ll be morally-rounded cause’ I care,

Baby shake rattle, baby shake rattle, baby shake rattle, in the air,

Kids bedtime, this as a loving but tired father, I do happily declare!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 4:

My biological clock is going tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, there’s no escape,

I have a dream of reading aloud to my kids “Hickory Dickory Dock” and tales of “Grape Ape,”

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded dvd and many a videotape,

Merry Christmas mommy, how do I look all dressed up as a shepherd in my big brother’s old white cape,

Tears come to my eyes as I watch my child in the Christmas pageant up on the stage with my mouth totally agape,

How in the world Carmen Sandiego did he get all of that scotch tape to stay up around his nape, my oh my, what a cool drape!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a mommy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 5:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let’s make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this my dear,

So lover, take me in your arms and let’s start this baby-making party off with a kiss that will scorch and sear,

Hey big boy, I want you to know that I love you and there’s no pressure here,

But the only thing that I want for Christmas is to have your baby by the end of next year!

Cheers!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A maternal and paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until we’re a mommy and daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, we want a baby!

Verse 6:

It’s nice to know that us humans on earth are not alone and that we are all truly God’s children through and through,

Because one day over two thousand years ago God himself had a major case of baby fever too,

He chose Mary to be the mother of his baby and Joseph to watch over them even though to what was going on neither of them really didn’t have a clue,

But they both loved and trusted God so they let this guide them and their hearts also told them that this unusual miraculous request was the right thing to do,

And on Christmas Day a long time ago a baby boy named Jesus was born in a stable in Bethlehem wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger that was far from new,

Shepherds and wise men from different places all over the world traveled to Bethlehem to praise this new king, bring him gifts and to see if this wonderful miracle was really true,

But in their heart of hearts they already knew that Jesus the Saviour, their king, was born for one and all, expressly for me and you,

So today and every year we celebrate his birthday, Christmas Day,  at different places all over the world because he is the one thing that unites us all together, he is our special spiritual glue!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS, WE LOVE YOU!

AND GOD WE ALSO LOVE YOU VERY MUCH TOO!

THANK YOU FOR HAVING A MAJOR CASE OF BABY FEVER UP IN HEAVEN JUST LIKE US HUMANS ON EARTH DO!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a manger with a beautiful baby boy in it, skinny or fat,

An almighty paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until a God like me is a daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, and I know that I am talking to myself, I, the Lord Almighty want a baby!

It’s time for even me to be a daddy!

Prayer:

Oh Lord in heaven, give me strength, please help me,

Cause’ I know at times i’m gonna’ have my work cut out for me,

I know that being a good mama or papa ain’t always gonna’ be easy,

But I don’t care, that part doesn’t even bother or faze me,

Cause’ i’ll happily take on this parental challenge given unto thee,

Lord, this christian soldier is oh so ready to raise a good loving family,

One that will offer up love and praise to you everyday faithfully,

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and their’s only one cure,

A beautiful living legacy created by me for you that will forever endure!

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TWO BIRTHDAYS! A SONG WRITTEN BY TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN


(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 1)

I was born in Des Moines Iowa on April 13, you see,

With lungs that would rival the biggest banshee,

Took me eight years to remember a birthday, oh golly gee,

And eight seconds to know one was not nuff for this girly,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 2)

After alot of thinking I discovered the key,

Have a birthday every six months rather simple really,

Double the cake, balloons, presents, merriment, oh whoopee,

Who cares about getting old, two birthdays for the rest of my life I definitely foresee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 3)

My second birthday is on October 13 near Halloween, boo, scary,

Orange pumpkins, black cats, graveyards and an old horror movie,

Jason, Spiders, Michael Myers thrill and scare the hell outta’ me,

I got two birthdays with my name in frosting on the cake marquee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 4)

So no matter whether you’re a human, animal, insect or tree,

You now have two birthdays just like everybody else and me,

Celebrate and enjoy every wonderful birthday memory,

Cause’ one day we will all die and won’t have this living luxury,

But don’t you fret but you accept what is to inevitably no doubt be,

Cherish this gift given to you by our God, your dad and your lovely mommy,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 5)

So no more worries about whether you’re sick, have to work or some other emergency,

You now have two birthdays a spare blessing to your loved ones and to thee,

Always remember every living thing was born, a most certain guarantee,

And whether it is your wish to celebrate quietly or with people and cherries jubilee,

You not only have one but two birthdays to do whatever you please to any degree,

Cause’ it is your day to have tea, build a teepee, hold a jamboree, climb a tree, be totally carefree!

Oh hallelujah, praise God, oh how I truly love him, my family and good ol’ fabulous me!

It is my birthday and noone on this planet does it quite like me, oh glorious glee!

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

THIS IS TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN WISHING ALL LIVING THINGS ON THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET OF OURS A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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