Posts tagged Heart

TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN’S GREETING CARDS IN A BLOG POST! (GREETING CARD 9) HERE IS A SPECIAL RETRO CARD JUST FOR YOU REGULAR JOES OUT THERE!


SCRIPT TYPE: Long Electronic Greeting Card
TITLE: Valentine’s Day Smackdown 2005

Setting: This scene takes place in a Wrestling ring. There is a huge banner with words, Valentine’s Day Smackdown 2005, on it. It hangs over the ring.

Characters: In one corner you have Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. In an opposite corner you have Kevin Jamison and his wife Shelley. The announcer is in the middle of the ring. The announcer introduces the couples. He speaks loudly but clearly into the microphone. He points at each couple as he introduces them.

Announcer: “Our champs, Brad and Jennifer are rich, have glamourous careers, are ood-looking and physically fit.”

“The challengers, Kevin and Shelley currently live paycheck to paycheck, work at dead-end 9 to 5 jobs, are ordinary-looking and slightly overweight.”

“And the winner of Valentine’s Day Smackdown 2005 is Kevin and Shelley!”

“Why?”

“Because Kevin and Shelley will be CELEBRATING Valentine’s Day this year.”

(P.S. Brad and Jennifer won’t be because they separated in January 2005 mostly because of his adulterous love affair with that homewrecker humanitarian slut, Angelina Jolie.)

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TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S GREETING CARDS IN A BLOG POST! (GREETING CARD 3)


 

With Valentine’s Day always around the corner, I decided that I had better get going writing my greeting cards. Here is a Valentine’s Day greeting card that I wrote for the masses.

Back in my day, on Valentine’s Day we exchanged cards with all of the other kids in school.

When I didn’t get a card from a classmate that I liked (or disliked for that matter),

I FELT LIKE A TOTAL ZERO!

I FELT SO ALONE!

I FELT LIKE NOBODY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD LOVED ME!

Which is why this Valentine’s Day I felt it was so very important to let you know three things, my love:

FIRST, you are a perfect 10 with faults and I love each and every one of them plus everything else about you!

SECOND, you will never be alone because I love you and I can’t live in this great big ol’ world without you!

THIRD, just in case you haven’t already figured out the theme of this Valentine’s Day card, I will say it again and again and again and many more times in our blessed future together, “I Love You!”

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, MY LOVE!

(Consider this gift to go along with the card–Red or pink roses, chocolates or candy in a heart-shaped box.)

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