Posts tagged Johnson

JOHNSON UP! (A MANTRA FOR THE MILLENNIUM MAN!)


Verse 1/Chorus:
Hey brother,
did you have a bad day so you took
it out on your woman and brought
her verbally down?
Wanna’ rebound?
Then Johnson up!
Straight up!
Say Sorry up!
Admit yo’ ass was to blame and you
was wrong up!
Buy your woman some flowers or
candy or cook her dinner as a nice
way to make up!
Commit to doing better in the future up!
But most of all, verbally lift your Queen’s
spirits because she damn well deserves
it the hell up!
Get the picture up!
Verse 2/Chorus:
Hey brother,
did you get a girl pregnant then say the
kid ain’t yours being all damn low down?
Wanna’ rebound?
Then Johnson up!
Straight up!
Take paternal parental responsibility up!
Take any decent job or take yo’ ass back
to school to provide for your new kid up!
Pay as much as you can in child support
or open up a savings account and save,
save, save up!
Take a lamaze class and meet other new
parents up!
Go out and buy a colorful onesie up!
But most of all, support the mother of your
child, despite any differences, because she
sure as hell needs you at this time the hell up!
Verse 3/Chorus:
Hey brother,
when you and your homeboys are clowning
around, do you often refer to women as
bitches and hoes stupidly thinking ya’ll are
getting down?
Wanna’ rebound?
Then Johnson up!
Straight up!
Ask yourself would you want your homies
calling your mama, sister or female child
these sick-ass names, come on brother,
real up!
Remember brother that a strong sensual
woman can do anything that a stereotypical
macho male can do so wake up!
And dude, if a woman has a so called
tramp stamp on her back, you can have
your opinions but keep them to yourself
because it ain’t none of yo’ business up!
And baby boy, just because a women dresses
sexy or barely wears any clothes doesn’t mean
that she’s easy or a slut up!  So shutup!
Bro, work to free your mind of these stereotypes
by educating yourself and your homeboys the hell up!
But most of all, try to be a gentleman to women as much
as you possibly can by verbally respecting women
especially in front of impressionable young men the hell up!
Verse 4/Chorus:
Hey brothers,
now that I have given ya’ll the ultimate female low down …..
Now you have all of the tools to maintain and if need be to
always rebound!
So Bro, if ever in the future you screw up, simply direct
your dick skyward and Johnson up!
Again bro, dick skyward, literally straight up!
Bro, do it all old school R&B Temptations style and
“Treat Her Like A Lady” up!
And if you majorly fuck up then go to prison, serve
your time and rehabilitate the hell up!
Always try to be a good role model to young and other
brothers because you have the ability to inspire and
educate up!
Don’t be scared to show love and affection outwardly
towards your woman for fear you’ll be called a pansy up!
Scream it from the tree tops that you are a strong-ass,
grown-ass woman supporting equal opportunity man
till you die up!
And most of all, tweak, be creative and do anything else
that you can think of to make yourself a better man who
exhibits respectful behavior towards women up!
Again bro, direct your dick skyward, straight up!
Always and forever bro, remember to Johnson up!

Leave a comment »

HOW HOLLYWOOD IS STILL FICKLE ABOUT SHOWING A GUY’S PICKLE!


Here is an article that I wrote and put on Instablogs in June 2008 and i’m sad to report almost four years later not much has changed.

Back in the day when a crew was shooting a porno and a guy’s penis was exposed you could immediately hear the word “pickle” shouted from every rooftop until that shot was erased.

With movies like “9 1/2 Weeks”and tv shows like “Sex and the City” shattering taboos on human sexuality there is one thing that has unfortunately remained unchanged.

And that’s Hollywood’s refusal to show “pickle” in mainstream Rated “R” movies.

And as a 38 heterosexual Black Female, I gotta’ say that’s a damn shame!

I mean, oh sure, we gotta’ glimpse of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “pickle” in the first “Terminator” movie and we got to see Richard Gere’s “pickle” in “American Gigolo” and thank you God, we got to see a snippet of Denzel Washington’s “pickle” in the movie, “Ricochet” but basically other than a scattering you really see little “pickle” in mainstream Rated “R” movies.

Which is the biggest hypocritical double standard in Hollywood because in alot of mainstream movies including PG-13 movies you see every part of a woman’s anatomy including her vajayjay.

I wonder when will this double standard stop!

When will the predominantly male studio heads stop being so stupid and show more “pickle!” I mean it’s not like we’re asking to see theirs!

NOTE: WOMEN ARE NOT PERVERTS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SEE SOME “PICKLE” EVERY NOW AND THEN! WE’RE HUMAN!

If the truth be told, if you ask the average woman, i’ll bet she wouldn’t mind seeing more “pickle” in main stream Rated “R” movies.

I mean why do women basically have to rent a porno to see some “pickle?”

Hey Hollywood, stop the insanity and give women what they really want which is equality in nudity among the sexes in the mainstream motion picture industry.

PLEASE!

Hey ladies, one day in the mainstream motion picture industry we will overcome too!

Comments (1) »

%d bloggers like this: