Posts tagged Poems

WHAT HOURS DO YOU SELL BOOZE?


Sorry, I don’t know what hours we sell liquor maam,
When I heard those words I thought really goddamn,
Cause’ if I was any kind of a store employee,
That is the first thing for certain I would know baby,
For me, for a store to be legit,
They better know what hours they sell their 50 proof shit,
I mean one of the best perks of the damn job,
For any hardworking minimum wage paid store slob,
Would be after work Miller time, hey, and a shot of Jim Beam,
And if this customer comes after hours and can’t buy hootch i’m gonna’ scream,
And if this customer calls for the hours and gets transferred alot cause’ you don’t know,
You better believe i’m gonna’ be pissed and tell your ass where to go,
So 7-Eleven, CVS, Walmart and all other stores regarding training, do your damn job,
You so-called friendly convenience corporations before your confronted by an angry mob,
And first have your employees memorize what hours your store sells the liquor at,
And this Sherlock Holmes will find it in any store aisle less than a minute flat,
Baby, I promise you that!

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HEY LYRICISTS AND SONGWRITERS: UPLOAD YOUR WRITTEN LYRICS AT SONGBAY AND MAKE SOME CASH!


Are you a lyricist or songwriter who wants to make some money off of their songs on a legitimate website?

If so, then pay a visit to SongBay and get started!

My official SongBay artist’s page is located at:  http://www.songbay.co/artists/4490/

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GOD IS DOG SPELLED BACKWARDS BECAUSE…..


DOGS ARE NOT ONLY MAN’S BEST FRIEND, THEY’RE GOD’S BEST FRIEND TOO!

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HUMOROUS HAIKUS!


Haiku 1: Birthday

Happy Birthday is
Half-eaten cake from your kids
World’s best weight watchers

Haiku 2: Friendship

A true friend tells you
Your breath stinks and cheers you on
All in one day’s time

Haiku 3: Birthday

Birthday’s are for Those
Who want to celebrate Life
Crow’s Feet and Hair Loss

Haiku 4: Friendship

Friends will fight sometimes
Make up all the time because
Menstrual Cycles end

Haiku 5: Thank You

Thank God for High Tea
Low-Heeled Sling Back Jimmy Choos
Husbands with Visa

Haiku 6: Birthday

Birthday Wishes come
in Small, Medium, and Large
Boxes for your Bills

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