Posts tagged Sing

ELECTION 2016, WHAT WILL YOU BE? A SONG WRITTEN BY TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN


Verse 1:

-Ted Cruz was the first one to break his presidential run cherry,
-Rest in peace, “Bitch, set me up”, former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry,
-Don’t ya’ll think Monica Lewinsky’s 2015 comeback is precursor-ass scary,
-On no, Election 2016, i’m starting to feel a little bit wary,
-Oh Election 2016, I need some alka seltzer, Jesus, Joseph and Mary!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 2:

-My fellow Americans if Hilary is elected her husband will fuck every intern in the White House, he likes em’ young, baby,
-My fellow Americans if any Republican is elected they will give more tax breaks to the ultra rich like the Koch brothers, loud-ass carbonated burp, honey,
-Oh shut up liberal and leave Bristol Palin and other unqualified politician’s youngin’s be,
-Go suck an egg conservative before spending some of that leftover pocketed super pac money,
-Ahhh, Election 2016, the mudslinging goal, make your political opponent look like one hell of a pussy!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 3:

-Racism, poverty, immigration, usually not problems facing the tea party,
-Democrats in regards to these problems aren’t exactly Mother Teresa saintly,
-Oh fair candidate, oh dark candidate, we oh so need you to help us fix problems like these urgently,
-Show yourself gallant sir or bewitching maiden and lead us to economic and social prosperity,
-Election 2016 candidates, show us you really care, not Obamacare, oh so swiftly!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 4:

-Candidates, try not to Aaron Schock us by spending taxpayer money ala Downton Abbey,
-Or wiping your email server clean when you are not supposed to ala Clinton Hillary,
-Stop all the bullshit and fulfill all your campaign promises to your constituency,
-Bring back honor to politics and end the stereotypical rhetoric about politicians asap,
-Then you will see more people turning out to vote in elections incessantly! (Whoopee)

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 5:

-So Republicans, rush rush to the polls and do the Limbaugh baby,
-And Democrats hurry hurry to the polls and honor the Kennedy legacy,
-And if you like to masturbate, go out and vote Independently,
-Whatever gets you off, just make your voice heard great sex loudly,
-But most of all, American red, white and blue star spangled proudly!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Leave a comment »

EXACTLY HOW SHOULD A PERSON OF ANY RACE OR GENDER SING THE ULTRA-PATRIOTIC AMERICAN ANTHEM, THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER?


With the Christmas/New Year’s holiday season making me feel oh so grateful and happy for what I currently have, I also find myself thinking back to holiday’s past when things were not so great and today I remembered something unusual that occurred during the Christmas/New Year’s holiday four years ago back in 2008.

Four years ago during the Christmas/New Year’s holiday when I was staying at one of the better homeless shelters in New Hampshire (One that was super clean, didn’t allow intoxication or theft of any kind, had plenty of good food, had less than a handful of the employees stealing only 10% of the donations that came in for the residents and one that let you stay in the shelter all day long just as long as you weren’t sleeping and didn’t kick your ass out between the hours of 9:00 am – 5:00 pm with no place to go other than the library even in the freezing cold) one night at about 8:00 pm I went down to the lower level of the shelter to clean the bathroom which was my assigned chore for that day.

Sitting in the living room area of the lower level on the couch were two nice White guys in their 50’s named Jerry and Dan. All through the day the two men were talking about some football game that they were dying to watch later that night so not wanting to disturb them I dragged my cleaning supplies with me as quietly as I could in the direction of the bathroom that I had been assigned to clean but as I passed the two men they turned their attention away from the tv and started chatting with me and I happily obliged after taking a quick peek at the tv and seeing that the game had not formally started yet.

Anyhoo, as we were all talking, all of a sudden the song, The Star Spangled Banner started to play and both men quickly but nicely shushed me. I instantly became quiet. Dan, even rose to his feet and placed his hand over his heart. After the song was finished, Jerry startled the hell out of me when he said, “I hate it when they do that!” in a voice filled with extreme irritation. “Do what?” I quickly asked perplexed. “Sing The Star Spangled Banner like that.” he replied, extreme irritation still visible in his voice and now on his slightly flushed face.

And yet again I was perplexed because the plump Black woman who had just finished singing the song in my opinion had done a great job singing the American anthem, whoever the hell she was. So, I didn’t understand what Jerry meant. Jerry obviously seeing that I had no clue about what the hell he was talking about quickly and vehemently clued me in fast. “You’re not supposed to sing The Star Spangled Banner like that. The song is supposed to be sung plain and simple! No theatrics!” he said, still extremely irritated and flushed.

After Jerry said his peace I then immediately understood what he was talking about. It was clear that Jerry was upset that the Black woman had done a very soulful rendition of The Star Spangled Banner and it was oh so obvious that Jerry didn’t like that one little bit. After a few seconds of taking this in, I immediately thought that was ridiculous. So, I defended the vocalist because in my eyes she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“She was only putting her own personal spin on the song. Ya’ know, just adding a little flavor.” I said to Jerry. But Jerry and Dan, who I now noticed was still standing but his right hand was no longer placed over his heart but rather at its side, were having none of it. “The Star Spangled Banner is supposed to be sung plain and simple! No theatrics!” Jerry said again, with a firm chin and a note of finality in his extremely irritated voice.

At Jerry’s words, I immediately let my eyes roll heavenward and said in an equally firm voice, “This is America, a person has the right to sing The Star Spangled Banner anyway they want to!” This time Dan joined in the dispute and said, “Your wrong, Tina. The song is not supposed to sung that way. It’s supposed to be sung plain and simple with no theatrics just like Jerry said before. To sing The Star Spangled Banner any other way is vulgar and disrespectful to the country, veterans and the flag.”

Again, I let my eyes roll heavenward and not really wanting to get into a more in depth dispute over how The Star Spangled Banner should be sung, I theatrically shrugged my shoulders and said, “Whatever.” and went off to clean the bathroom.

Folks, let me tell you that over the past four years every once in a while this patriotic ghost has come back to haunt me from time to time and get me thinking. And here are a few of my thoughts:

Since I know for a fact that Jerry and Dan didn’t have one racist bone in their bodies after knowing them for awhile I had to rule out the fact that they were complaining about the song The Star Spangled Banner being sang that way only because the woman who sang it was Black because I knew damn well that if a White man had done a little blue-eyed Righteous Brothers soul to the song, Jerry and Dan would be just as upset as well. Or even if a White man had performed a country rendition of The Star Spangled Banner (Jerry and Dan both like country music) with a little twang in his voice or even if a White man classical trained in the theatre had performed the song The Star Spangled Banner as if he were performing it on Broadway in a dramatic opera like Les Miserables or The Mikado, Jerry and Dan still would not have liked it and would have been upset by it.

I have long surmised that with these two men, who I like to think of as conservative Americans, when it comes to The Star Spangled Banner there is no middle ground, no compromise. Part of me wonders if they are just both products of their time being that they were both born approximately in the 1950’s or 1960’s where things were more black and white back then. Hmmm? Even though I disagree with them on how The Star Spangled Banner should be sung both men do have a right to their own opinion but so do I which is why I finally wrote about this subject.

Anyhoo, however you think that our national anthem, The Star Spangled Banner should be sung in my opinion is up to you as long as it is not sung in a hateful or perverted way. It is and always will be one of the best songs ever written! On that fact both, Jerry, who now lives up in heaven and Dan, who still lives on earth in New Hampshire just a couple of blocks away from me, will most definitely agree! And folks, finally we have some common ground. Hooray!!!

P.S.    Francis Scott Key you totally rock!  And lip syncing the American anthem totally sucks!  Did you hear that, Beyonce?

Leave a comment »

TWO OF MRS. CLAUS’ NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FOR 2013!


(Mrs. Claus’ New Year’s Resolution 1!)
-Offer to perform 69 with Santa in lieu of having to sing 1 more goddamn’ Christmas carol to 666 snot-nosed fucking brats on Christmas eve.

AND

(Mrs. Claus’ New Year’s Resolution 2!)
-Use my hot cross buns vibrator with the frankincense & myrrh clitoral stimulator only during Lent so that way I won’t have to give up “meat” altogether because lord knows I ain’t gettin’ any from Santa.

ANYHOO, MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR, FOLKS!

Leave a comment »

TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S WACKY-ASS BUSINESS IDEAS & VENTURES FOR CHRISTMAS TIME IN THE NYC! (LIGHTBULB 4)


Hey Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular, I couldn’t help but notice that some of your Christmas productions are really quite beautiful!

However……….

I have also noticed that some of your Christmas productions have also taken a big-ass dose of ex-lax and become quite regular.

And Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular, sometimes that regularity shit ain’t good.

I mean, come on ya’ll, it’s Christmas and it’s the Big Apple for Christ’s sake!

Ya’ll bitches really need to shake it up and show the world that NYC still has some kick-ass Christmas cred.

And low and behold, I, Tina Knowledgeable Peden, am here to help ya’ll with that.

Hey!

Red and green lightbulb!

Hey Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular, have you hallowed bastions of Christmas glory ever considered doing a special Xmas version of the hit 1986 song, Yah Mo B There by Michael McDonald and James Ingram?

To further bolster my yuletide business lightbulb, check out these kick-ass holy spiritual lyrics:

Yah Mo B There!

(Song Lyrics By James Ingram/Michael McDonald/Rod Temperton/Quincy Jones)

(Verse 1)

Heavenly father watching us all
We take from each other and give nothing at all
Well it’s a dog-gone shame
But never too late for change
So if your luck runs low
Just reach out and call his name, his name

[Chorus]

Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Whenever you call

(Verse 2)

Never be lonely lost in the night
Just run from the darkness
Looking for the light
‘Cause it’s a long hard road
That leads to a brighter day (hey)
Don’t let your heart grow cold
Just reach out and call his name, his name

[Chorus]
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Whenever you call

(Verse 3)

You can count on it brother
‘Cause we’re all just finding our way
Travelling through time
People got to keep pushing on
No matter how many dreams slip away
Yah will be there

(Verse 4)

Well it’s a dog-gone shame
But never too late for change
So when your luck runs low
Just reach out and call his name, his name

Yah mo be there, I will be there
Yah mo be there, When you need a friend
Yah mo be there, yeah ill be there whenever you call

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Now ain’t those song lyrics beautiful but cool!

And you know

Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular what would be even cooler?

It would be oh so cool to see a Jesus look-a-like and a big ol’ jolly Santa look-a-like up on your big-ass stages performing the song Yah Mo B There at Christmas time in front of the masses!

It would definitely be something different and break you out of your ex-lax regularity shit cycle.

I’ll tell ya’ NYC that even I would pay big money to see Jesus and Santa doing a soulful rendition of the song, Yah Mo B There while at the same time shakin’ their booties and gettin’ down with their good selves to this song.

(P.S. That’s some ultra-funny but ultra-inspiring shit!)

So Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular do yourselves a big-ass favor and get off of your ex-lax asses and immediately license the song, Yah Mo B There for a musical production, pay the astronomical licensing fee, write a kick-ass musical number, rehearse the heck out of it then when the time is right, i.e. November 9th – December 30th start performing the hell, pun intended and sorry Jesus, outta that baby! And watch the yuletide dollars come rolling or should I say, prancing in!

By the by, Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular you NYC giants might also want to consider teaming up with Lance Manufacturing, LLC because they are the owners of the Archway Cookies brand in order to sell their ever popular Bells & Stars Christmas Cookies during your holiday musical performances and in exchange Lance/Archway could put photos of either Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular on their cookie packages to further promote your Christmas holiday performances. That way you’ll have profitable but tasty Christmas dollars prancing in at Xmas every year! And what a lovely yet delicious Christmas tradition that would make!

Hallelujah and Amen!

And another P.S. Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular if you really want to break out of your ex-lax regularity shit cycle, you might also want to consider performing two other Michael McDonald songs for your Christmas productions.

Perform the song, I Keep Forgetting, with a Jesus look-a-like, a Santa look-a-like, and a female vocalist of your choice wearing Blues Brothers type hats and call the group “The Heavenly Hats.”

And perform the song, Sweet Freedom, with a Jesus look-a-like, a Santa look-a-like, and a male vocalist of your choice wearing Blues Brothers type red, white and blue hats and call the group “The Heavenly Hats.” And don’t forget to add in a dancing Statue of Liberty!

That way you’ll have three kick-ass Christmas musical numbers to represent and give kick-ass cred to the NYC!

Really take a bite out of the big candied apple at Christmas time this year!

Comments (1) »

TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S POP CULTURE DICTIONARY (VOLUME 13) WHAT IS A STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS BUG UP THE ASS?


(Definition) A State Of The Union Address Bug Up The Ass is literally a nasty-ass fungus or infection that goes straight up into your butthole and eventually settles itself in your brain and drives you absolutely bonkers once a year due to your favorite tv show, movie, commercial, video or infommercial being preempted by the President’s Stupid Ol’ Annual State Of The Union Address because like the subject trigonometry that you learn in high school the information in the President’s Annual State Of The Union Address is something that most Americans will never use and this major inconvenience really pisses alot of Americans the fuck off.

I will now use this phrase in a sentence to clarify its meaning.

“Dude, stay the fuck away from Constance for the rest of the day because she’s not only got a major case of Baby Fever but she’s also got a wicked nasty State Of The Union Address Bug Up The Ass! Dude, you know how much her totally obsessed ass worships those Johnson’s Baby Shampoo commercials. Dude, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay the fuck away from her!”

Leave a comment »

THE UNOFFICIAL WORDPRESS/FEDERATED MEDIA SWEET TRI-PARTNERSHIP SONG!


Two weeks ago, I received an email that my blog had been accepted into the WordAds Program and I was estatic! And i’m happy to say that two weeks later after having the advertisements on my blog I can’t tell you how impressed I am with the advertisements themselves!

WordPress and Federated Media I just want to say to you guys that the advertisements look fantastic! They don’t look cheap or tacky like some blogs that I have seen with advertising. I really appreciate it!

And I am sooo looking forward to making a little extra cash from this tri-partnership with you guys. And to get the party started and to show you my thanks, here is a little song that I wrote just for you WordPress and Federated Media. And it goes a little something like this………………….

The Unofficial WordPress/Federated Media Sweet Tri-Partnership Song!

(Chorus)

Federated Media,

Federated Media,

Federated Media,

And the website, WordPress not the WikiPedia,

The place where blogs make good ol’ advertising bucks,

And in this economy having no extra money really sucks,

Sweet tri-partnership with you is lucrative baby, cash deluxe,

WordAds Program, I love and thank you, keep up the good work, bashful smile, and a big ol’ aww shucks!

WordPress and Federated Media to put it plainly, thank you sooo much for the extra advertising bucks!

(Verse 1)

Hey world, three for one and one for all,

I said, three for one and one for all,

WordPress and Federated Media’s new motto on this venture they proudly call,

And WordPress Bloggers are the third partner on this venture and the three of us are gonna’ have a ball,

Because with Federated Media’s acquisition of sites like FoodBuzz they are now the internet advertising king,

Many marketers will seek out WordPress and it’s bloggers to sell their wares on their blogs with a little spice and zing,

But don’t you worry WordPress Bloggers, Federated Media won’t stop there they will continue to grow and spread their wings,

So to a long sweet profitable tri-partnership between Federated Media, WordPress and WordPress Bloggers I happily foresee and loudly sing!

(Chorus)

Federated Media,

Federated Media,

Federated Media,

And the website, WordPress not the WikiPedia,

The place where blogs make good ol’ advertising bucks,

And in this economy having no extra money really sucks,

Sweet tri-partnership with you is lucrative baby, cash deluxe,

WordAds Program, I love and thank you, keep up the good work, bashful smile, and a big ol’ aww shucks!

WordPress and Federated Media to put it plainly, thank you sooo much for the extra advertising bucks!

Comments (2) »

TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S POP CULTURE DICTIONARY (VOLUME 11) WHAT IS TWITTERTUDE?


(Definition) Twittertude occurs when a person decides to “follow” a fellow twitterer on Twitter then gets extremely pissed off when the person doesn’t reciprocate by following them.

I will now use this word in a sentence to clarify it’s meaning.

Hey dude, look at that dumb-ass tool with a major twittertude beating the living shit out of that Michael Jackson impersonator just because the guy skipped by him singing The Jackson 5 lyric, “Rockin’ Robin, Tweet, Tweet, Tweet!” Damn dude, Ashton Kutcher is a total psycho Twitter addict!

And for all of you Twitter addicts out there with major twittertudes, here’s some song lyrics just for you!

Rockin’ Robin by The Jackson 5!

He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and singing his song
All the little birdies on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight

Every little swallow, every chick-a-dee
Every little bird in the tall oak tree
The wise old owl, the big black crow
Flappin’ their wings singing go bird go

Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight
Yeah yeah

Pretty little raven at the bird-band stand
Told them how to do the bob and it was grand
They started going steady and bless my soul
He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriol

He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and singing his song
All the little birdies on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight

Pretty little raven at the bird-band stand
Told them how to do the bop and it was grand
They started going steady and bless my soul
He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriol

He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and singing his song
All the little birdies on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight

Comments (2) »

SELF ESTEEM GAMES FOR CHILDREN! (HEY KIDS, IF YOU DON’T BLOW YOUR OWN HORN, NOBODY ELSE WILL!)


Teachers, here is a fun self-esteem game that your students can play. Parents, this game can also be played at birthday parties, too. This game is called, “Blow Your Own Horn.”

THINGS NEEDED:
-A roll of paper towels for each student
-A couple of wastepaper baskets
-A couple of brooms and dustpans
-A portable radio or cd player

THE “BLOW YOUR OWN HORN” SELF-ESTEEM GAME:

1. At the beginning of class, give each child their own roll of paper towels.

2. Have each child tear off a couple of paper towels from the roll and then rip them up and put them into the wastepaper baskets. Repeat this step until all of the paper towels have been ripped up.

3. Turn on some music and encourage the kids to dance while they are ripping up the paper towels and putting them into the wastepaper baskets.

4. Once all of the paper towels have been ripped up and placed into the wastepaper
baskets. Have each child pick up the empty paper towel roll and place it to
his or her mouth and talk into it like a bullhorn.

5. Go around the room and ask each child to say something positive about
themselves into the makeshift bullhorn such as: “I’m great!”
“I’m a winner!” “I love myself!” “I’m a hardworker!”

6. Once all of the children have had a turn. Ask the children to stand up and
march around the room, single file, and have them say more positive
things about themselves into the makeshift bullhorns.

7. Encourage them to clap their hands and have a grand ol’ time.

8. Once all of the children have had another turn at saying positive things
about themselves, have each child take some of the shredded paper towels
out of the wastepaper baskets and throw them into the air and onto each
other. Teachers, let them go wild and have a grand ol’ time.

9. In between bouts of saying positive things about themselves and throwing
the shredded paper towels at each other, have each child pick a song
that they can all sing together. For the rest of the class period,
JUST LET THE CHILDREN HAVE FUN!

10. About 10 minutes before the class period ends, sweep up the shredded
paper towels and discard them into the wastepaper baskets and tidy up the
rest of the classroom. Have all the kids help do this. Teachers, let
any child who wants to keep their bullhorn, keep it.

SELF-ESTEEM OBJECTIVE:
-This game’s objective is to make a child feel good about his or herself
through their own positive reinforcement. Teachers, it is important for you to tell the children that although it is good for a child to hear positive things about themselves from other people, sometimes they need to hear those positive things from the most important person of all, themselves. Remember, that a person every once in a while needs to “blow their own horn.” To basically say good things about themselves because there is a chance that nobody else will.

Comments (1) »

TINA MEETS ROCK N’ ROLL HONEYBEE!


Chapter One:

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I’m a good ol’ bee
You can always count on me!

One day Tina was sitting in Math class.
She was so bored, she found herself looking outside the window at the grass.
Right next to it, some kids were sitting on the playground.
Above them a honeybee was flying around.
The kids were drinking milk and eating cinnamon rolls.
And the radio was playing some good ol’ fashioned rock n’ roll.

All of a sudden the honeybee stopped flying around.
And sat down by the radio which was on the ground.
The honeybee stayed through three rock n’ roll songs.
Then moved on when the kids started playing a game of ping pong.

All of a sudden an idea hit Tina right away.
She was so excited she could hardly wait for the end of the school day.
The idea was about a cute little honeybee.
That was later to be me, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I’m a good ol’ bee
You can always count on me!

Chapter Two:
Once Tina got home, she worked on Rock N’ Roll Honeybee right away.
She even skipped dinner, it didn’t matter because she wasn’t hungry anyway.
Three hours later, Tina looked at the finished picture of Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.
Her smile was bright, she was so very happy.

Rock N’ Roll Honeybee’s body was striped black and yellow.
He was quite an amazing looking fellow.
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee had all the things a normal honeybee had.
But he also had a lot of other things that would make all the other honeybees mad.

On paper, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee looked so very small.
But if he were real, he’d be six feet tall.
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee had beautiful, long blonde hair.
To keep it off his face, a black leather scarf tied around it he would wear.
His eyebrows were blonde and very thick.
He kept them that way because he didn’t want to get a cut or nick.

Rock N’ Roll Honeybee had big oval black eyes.
When you looked into them, you knew he would tell you no lies.
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee had a small black button nose.
When it was cold, turned the color of a bright red rose.
You would see his beautiful white teeth whenever he would smile.
To keep them that way, he brushed them 3 times a day for quite awhile.

A small silver earring in the shape of a star hung from his left ear.
He wore that earring proudly as part of his gear.
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee wore a shiny black leather jacket.
When he moved it made a whole lot of racket.
His black leather jacket also covered up his big white wings.
He didn’t need them to fly, he barely had use for the things.
On his hands, legs, arms, and feet he wore black leather.
All his clothes went perfectly together.

Tina looked happily at the picture she had come to adore.
But something was troubling her, because deep down in her heart she knew that she could do so much more.
Tina began to daydream about where Rock N’ Roll Honeybee would live and what kinds of things he would do.
Tina quickly went back to work because she wasn’t even close to being through.
Three hours later, Tina had filled a sheet of notebook paper of things about Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.
Tina smiled even brighter, she was even more happy.

His full name was Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.
But his nickname was “Rock” for short, you see.
Rock lived on a small, invisible, magical planet named Colony Park.
Where everyday spent there was such fun, a tremendous lark.
Rock was very popular, especially with the girl bees.
About this his boy bee friends would always tease.

Rock N’ Roll Honeybee was so very hip and cool.
He always told kids to stay and study hard in school.
When you looked at him you saw nothing but good.
He was the kind of person that welcomed you to the neighborhood.
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee was a bee who would never sting.
Instead he liked to use his beautiful voice to sing.
His hobbies were riding motorcycles and playing the electric guitar.
His dream was one day to become a famous rock star.

His favorite music was of course, rock n’ roll.
But he liked all kinds of music, because music was in his heart and soul.
Rock also had special magical powers.
He could do things in a second, that would take most people hours.
He came into a room by a big bright yellow cloud.
Then a special song Tina had written would start to play very loud.
After the song was finished, the cloud would disappear.
And standing where the cloud had been, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee would appear.

Tina looked at the picture and the sheet of notebook paper on her desk with pride.
She was so very happy deep down inside.
For the next hour, all Tina did was daydream about Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.
But then her stomach growled, so she went downstairs to get something to eat because she was suddenly very hungry.
After Tina ate, she took a bath, and climbed happily into bed.
But after a couple hours of tossing and turning, she couldn’t get to sleep because visions of Rock N’ Roll Honeybee filled her head.

Tina could hardly believe that only today she had created Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.
But she knew with all her heart she already loved him so very dearly.
“Gee, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee, I wish that you were real!”
Then an idea hit Tina that made her squeal.
Tina jumped out of bed, put her robe and slippers on.
Tina shook a penny out of her piggy bank, opened her bedroom window and in a flash she was gone.

Ten minutes later, Tina stood in front of the wishing fountain in Baker Park.
Tina was a little scared because it was so very dark.
Tina slowly took a fresh breath of air in.
Then quickly threw the penny in.
The penny hit the bottom of the fountain with a soft plink.
Then a second later, Tina saw something that made her eyes three times blink.
A big bright yellow cloud appeared right next to the fountain out of the blue.
Tina’s mouth fell open, she was shocked and didn’t know what to do.
Then the Rock N’ Roll Honeybee Song started to play.

Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I’m a good ol’ bee
You can always count on me!

Tina got scared, she turned and ran away.
After the song was finished the cloud disappeared.
And standing where the cloud had been Rock suddenly appeared.
Rock saw Tina and said, “Tina you don’t have to run away.”
“Just say the word and I’ll simply go away.”
Tina stopped running and turned slowly around.
She didn’t even notice that she was standing on top of the pitcher’s mound.

Tina asked, “Rock, is it really you?”
Rock nodded his head and said, “Yes Tina, it’s true.”
Tina asked shyly, “Rock N’ Roll Honeybee may I please hug you?”
Rock smiled and said, “Oh yes! Tina please do!”
Tina smiled and ran over to Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.
She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him very tightly.
A few minutes later, Tina looked up at Rock with a question in her big brown eyes.
She looked so sweet she made Rock want to cry.
“Rock N’ Roll Honeybee, how did you come to life, I mean however did you come to be.”
“Tina, I came to be because you believed and you really loved me.”

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I’m a good ol’ bee
You can always count on me!

Chapter Three:

“Rock N’ Roll Honeybee, I don’t understand, you came to be because I believed and I really loved you?”
Rock nodded his head, “Yes Tina, that’s true.”
Tina frowned, “Rock, I still don’t understand what you mean.”
“I know you don’t kiddo, so I’m going to explain it to you, and in a minute you’ll understand because your pretty keen.”

“You see Tina, the wishing fountain in Baker Park is a magical fountain.”
“It can grant any wish, even a wish to move the Rocky Mountains.”
“But there are two things you must do.”
“Or your wish will not come true.”
“First, you must believe that the fountain can really grant your wish.”
“That it is not fake and filled with just fish.”
“Second, your wish must be made with true love.”
“A love so strong that it was sent down from heaven above.”
“Tina, always remember that LOVE IS A VERY POWERFUL THING!”
“LOVE CAN DO ANYTHING!”

“So you see Tina, those are the two things you must do.”
“For your wish to come true.”
“And Tina, you did what you were supposed to do.”
“So your wish came true.”
“Tina, your love for me was so strong, that it could do anything.”
“Like I said before, LOVE CAN DO ANYTHING!”
Tina thought about what Rock had just said. Alot was going through her head.

Tina knew 100 percent that she loved Rock N’ Roll Honeybee and wanted him to come to life with all of her heart.
He was real to her, not just some stupid drawing she had made, not just a piece of art.
“And Tina, this time, you really believed that the wishing well was real, AND IT IS REAL, that it was not fake.”
“Tonight, you didn’t listen to the bad stuff that some people say about the well, or the other bad comments they make.”
Rock pointed, “Tonight, you didn’t even pay attention to the sign.”
“You went ahead and made your wish, you didn’t buy that corny line.”
Tina looked up and for the one millionth time in her life and read the corny sign.

“THE BAKER PARK WISHING WELL AND FOUNTAIN INVITES YOU TO THROW A PENNY IN AND MAKE A WISH, AND YOU’LL COME OUT LOOKING AND SMELLING LIKE ONE OF THESE FISH.”
Tina and her friends thought that was such a stupid and corny line.
“Yeah, right!” Like they would really come out looking and smelling like a fish if they threw a penny in a well.
They never believed that, it was such a tough sell.
Tina looked at all the fish in the Baker Park Wishing Well swimming around.
And looked at all the pennies on the wishing well ground.
Tina suddenly thought, “Rock N’ Roll Honeybee was right!”
Tina suddenly saw the light.

Tonight, Tina didn’t pay any attention to the sign because she wanted her wish to come true.
So for once, she did believe the fountain was real, but at the time she had no clue.
Tina smiled brightly and hugged Rock again.
She was so happy, surely it must be a sin.
She now knew that she did everything she was supposed to do.
So her wish came true.
Tina said, “Now, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee I understand, now I see.”
“I now understand how you came to be.”

“Now, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee I want to hear all about you.”
“And please don’t stop until you are through.”
“Okay Tina, but not tonight.”
“Kiddo, you should be in bed with the covers tight.”
For a minute, Tina felt like such a fool.
It was very late and tomorrow she had to get up early and go to school.
Rock then took Tina’s chin in his right hand and looked her in the eye.
For a moment, Tina was very shy.
Rock said, “Tina, I want you to promise me that you will never go out by yourself so late at night.”
Tina promised Rock because she knew that he was right.

“Okay, I promise never to do it again, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.”
Rock said, “I know you won’t, honey.”
“But, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee, when are we going to talk?”
“Tina, tomorrow after school we will talk and take a little walk.”
“Gee Tina, I hope that is okay?”
Tina jumped up into the air and yelled, “Hooray!”
Tina and Rock walked back to her house hand in hand.
She was so happy, she felt like hiring a marching band.
Ten minutes later, Rock put Tina in her bed.
Then kissed her gently on the forehead.

“Goodnight my sweet little Tina.”
“Tomorrow I will see ya’.”
“Goodnight Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.”
“I really do love you so very dearly.”
“Thank you Tina, I really love you too.”
“Now you get some sleep and tomorrow we’ll have a lot of fun, just me and you.”
“And Tina, remember if you ever need me.”
“Just say three times, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.”
“Tina always remember that I am a good ol’ bee.”
“You and anyone else can always count on Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.”

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I’m a good ol’ bee
You can always count on me!

Chapter 4:

Well kids, I hope you enjoyed the story and song.
I hope you thought it was good and not so very long.
Kids, this is not the last time you will hear from Tina and me.
Kids watch for more adventures with Rock N’ Roll Honeybee.
Kids I must say one last thing before I go.
After reading my story and singing my song you should already know.
Knock, knock, kids guess who really loves you?
Times up, Rock N’ Roll Honeybee, that’s who!

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N’ Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I’m a good ol’ bee
You can always count on me!

THE END!

Comments (2) »

%d bloggers like this: