Posts tagged Woman


10. Avoid having your prep school buddies tell back in the day stories about you.

9. Avoid having talking parrots named “Peepsta” talk shit about you behind your back.

8. Avoid having a one-name professional stage name like Bret, Kippy or Witherspoon.

7. Avoid having white people walk beside you at daytime instead of moving across the street.

6. Avoid having respected rappers like Ice-T, Dr. Dre or Snoop Dogg diss you in a rap song.

5. Avoid starring in a lame-ass movie like “Are We There Yet” and star in a kick-ass tv show like “Law & Order SVU”. (Hey Ice Cube, I applaud the showing of a loving caring black father but overall the movie still sucked! Sorry brother, just telling it like it is! And Ice-T, I love the show and your cop character, Fin Tutuola! From rapping about killing cops to portraying one. You’ve come a long way, baby! In the good sense, of course.)

4. Avoid attending National Organization of Women rallies where you bust out rhymes like “Everybody let’s get this party started! So I want all of ya’ll to say strong confident woman, strong confident woman!” When a more appropriate professional rapper would have busted out a rhyme like “Everybody let’s get this party started! So I want all of ya’ll to say ho! Say ho ho ho ho!” (P.S. Professionalism goes a long way in the rap world!)

3. Avoid ripping off the names of kick-ass legendary actors like “Al Pacino” and going by a totally lame-ass variation of it like “Alpa Chino” in real life or in fictional kick-ass movies like Tropic Thunder. (P.S. This black female writer thinks that talented-ass white actor, Robert Downey Jr. did a totally kick-ass performance as black Sargeant Lincoln O’Siris in the kick-ass movie, Tropic Thunder!)

2. Avoid writing a song for use in real life or in a fictional movie like Tropic Thunder where you repeatedly say, “I love the pussy! Hell yeah! I love the pussy! Hell yeah!” When you clearly love the penis. More specifically former N’Sync boy band member and passable actor, Lance Bass’ penis! (Ewww, gross!)

1. Avoid having a totally talented-ass but scary-ass especially when it comes to his ex-wife, Kim, white rapper like Eminem (a.k.a. Marshall Mathers) give you any kind of praise whatsoever! (P.S. Eminem may be a totally talented-ass scary-ass multi-million dollar numerous number one songs rapper but he is a totally talented-ass scary-ass multi-million dollar numerous number one songs WHITE rapper which to the world of rap which is predominantly BLACK is a total negative. God Bless Rap In America And God Please Eliminate Reverse Racism In America!)

WARNING & SPECIAL NOTE: If you are a BLACK rapper who either is from Stamford Connecticut or has parents with white collar jobs avoid going into rap at all because you’ll never be taken seriously and will be constantly dissed for not being poor or not growing up in a bad neighborhood! But if you are black rappers in the above situations who absolutely insist on going into rap because it is your God given right, then perhaps take a play out of the Black But Totally Middle Class Will Smith Play Book and rap only about things that you know like “Parents Just Don’t Understand” Middle Class Stuff. And in your case black rappers from Stamford Connecticut or whose parents have white collar jobs try rapping about your country club woes or which college should I go to in the fall woes and the rap world just may accept and only snicker a little at you.

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(Definition) The Rubbing Alcohol Ruse is a devilishly clever code strategy that a sneaky-ass man or woman perpetrates by deliberately writing down the item, “rubbing alcohol” as a simple reminder to themselves to buy a large-ass quantity of liquor on their grocery lists in lieu of writing down the actual words vodka, Jim Beam, tequila, Jack Daniels or whatever the hell other spirit that the sneaky-ass man or woman wants to buy in order to cover their ass just in case any other pain-in-the-ass person in their life should see the grocery list such as a member of the clergy, the family doctor or a nosy-ass co-worker who’ll no doubt think that the sneaky-ass man or woman is a closeted alcoholic lush for buying so much booze and will no doubt joyfully spread this news to every Tom, Dick and Harry that they know or give communion wafers to thereby forcing the sneaky-ass man or woman to take the diabolic route to buying the intoxicants that they so desperately love.

I will now use this phrase in a sentence to clarify it’s meaning.



-Black Olives

-Lean Ground Beef


-Cheddar Cheese

-Sour Cream

-Taco Sauce

-Hard & Soft Taco Shells

-Rubbing Alcohol (Invisible i.e. all the liquor I need to make those lethal-ass grandpa margaritas)


-Tortilla Chips


Father Breckinmeyer, it was so good of you to stop by! And by the by, before you leave can you do me a favor and please hand me my grocery list that’s being held securely by that big ol’ happy face magnet on the refrigerator? You see Father, i’m making tacos for dinner tonight and I will simply be cross with myself if I forget a single item (i.e. the booze for the grandpa margaritas) on my grocery list.

(Innocent smile flashed to the priest by the perpetrator and a low-down dirty snicker that no man of the cloth could possibly hear! Oh God! Oh Jesus! Oh how I simply adore The Rubbing Alcohol Ruse! Another low-down dirty snicker!)

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(Here’s a little humor piece dedicated to all of you hardworking WordPress bloggers and bloggettes out there. I hope that all of you enjoy it and it brings a little laughter into your hectic day.)

WordPress, it’s fuckin’ creepy!

And I don’t mean just ordinary run of the mill creepy, I mean, Anthony Perkins slices and dices the beautiful and talented Janet Leigh in the Bates Motel shower Psycho creepy!

Hey WordPress Bloggers and Bloggettes, have you ever noticed that when you have posted 100 blog posts on your blog, or perhaps less, afterwards you start getting an update from the WordPress Goal Meter on your progress?

For example, after you have uploaded your latest post you will see a message afterwards saying something along the lines of “Congratulations! You have just posted your 100th blog post on WordPress!” Then off to the left side of your computer, the WordPress Goal Meter will say something like “4 posts to go 105 blog posts!” And once you have completed your 105th blog post, the WordPress Goal Meter will say something along the lines of “Congratulations! You have reached your goal of 105 blog posts!” Then the WordPress Goal Meter will then say something like “New Goal: 5 posts to go to 110 blog posts!”

I mean, WTF?

And why does the WordPress Goal Meter only measures a WordPress Blogger’s blog posting goals in blocks of five? I mean what’s up with that shit? (That’s numeric discrimination, buddy!)

WordPress, you guys and dolls, know that I love you but I have something to say to your WordPress Goal Meter.

Hey buddy, butt out!

Let us WordPress Bloggers set our own damn goals! I mean what are we, babies!

And WordPress Goal Meter, what if we bloggers don’t want to set our blog posting goals in blocks of five what if we want to set them in blocks of 2 or blocks of 7 or simply don’t want to set blog posting goals at all. Don’t we have that right? Hey WordPress Goal Meter, haven’t you ever heard of the constitution buddy?

WordPress Goal Meter please do us WordPress Bloggers a favor and seek some psychiatric help for your “God Complex” because buddy you sure need it!

And another thing WordPress Goal Meter, who the hell even asked for your help anyway? I mean, did you get a phone call from WordPress Blogger, Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden asking you to set blog posting goals for me? I think not, buddy!

I mean dude, what am I, 9 years old? WordPress Goal Meter, i’ll have you know that I am a 43 year old woman who pays her own bills and takes care of her responsibilities and obligations and I really don’t need you buttin’ in and telling me what my goals in life should be!

How dare you!

WordPress Goal Meter, I don’t know you! In the future I might suggest that you at least introduce yourself to WordPress Bloggers and get to know them for awhile before you start trying to run their lives like setting goals for them that you think they should complete! Hey that’s just common sense right there, buddy!

WordPress Goal Meter, let me break it down to you, YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY, MY DADDY, A RELATIVE, A FRIEND, A CHILD OF MINE, A BOYFRIEND, ONE OF MY FORMER GRADE SCHOOL TEACHERS OR MY HUSBAND! WordPress Goal Meter, there ain’t no ring of yours on my finger, buddy!

Hell dude you ain’t even a one-night stand and you’re trying to tell me what to do! WordPress Goal Meter in the immortal words of kick-ass pop singer, Janet Jackson, sexually, “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” And my response to that is, “Not a damn thing!” So butt out, buddy!

In closing, in the future WordPress Goal Meter, I would really appreciate it if you would let me WordPress Blogger, Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden set my own goals. I think that I have earned that right.

After all, this is the United States of America, land of free will! WordPress Goal Meter instead of buttin’ into the lives of WordPress Bloggers try taking up a hobby or something like tennis or needlepoint.

In essense, get a life of your own WordPress Goal Meter!

Gee whiz!

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Flirting is a fun form of communication between a man and a woman usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation or body language. Flirting can be one-sided or reciprocal.


Some women flirt to arouse sexual interest in men. Others flirt to entertain and amuse themselves or their friends. While other women flirt to get attention. There are some extremely seductive women who flirt to flaunt their sex appeal to exploit men while some women flirt just for the fun and the hell of it with no serious intentions or expectations. The reasons why women flirt are endless baby!


The ultimate goal of flirting is to determine the other person’s interest in a relationship. The interest could lead to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship or it could lead to a more serious commitment like marriage or it could lead to one night of meaningless casual sex with no strings attached. It all depends on the person.


Foot Flirting is basically the same as regular flirting except that a female uses her feet to arouse romantic or sexual interest.


This is a must! To obtain “nice feet” you don’t have to spend money on an expensive pedicure, simply make sure your toenails are clipped and clean. Also make sure your feet are pumised and moisturized! Dry, cracked flaky skin on the feet is a definite turn-off to guys. Moisturized feet that look “too greasy” is also a turn-off to guys so go easy on the lotion! Strike a balance between the two. The one thing that turns alot of guys on is nail polish. Remember to choose a color of nail polish that compliments your skin tone. If you can’t find a color of nail polish that you like or you are a woman who simply doesn’t like to polish her toenails try using a clear glossy nail polish instead to give your toes some pizazz! A simple toe ring or tasteful ankle bracelet can be worn to draw additional attention to the feet.

High-heeled shoes are a must and they should make alot of noise when you walk, ladies. They should be sandal-type shoes that show your toes or mules with no backs. If you absolutely have to wear flats again make sure that they show your toes or the shoes have no backs to them. Choose fun colors like red or pink although a pair of basic black can do just as good a job as colored shoes can. Also gals always remember to make sure your shoes smell good. No man wants to foot flirt with a woman who has stinky shoes. So if possible try to wear brand spanking new shoes or shoes that smell decent or are spritzed with a little shoe spray or powder to make them smell good. Baby powder also works great too!

A flattering dress that shows off your legs and feet is an absolute must! The dress should be either “slightly above the knee” or “slightly below the knee.” Try to stay away from mini-skirts and short-shorts! Even a nice pair of long slacks would be great just as long as sandal-type shoes that expose the toes or backless shoes are worn with the slacks. Make sure your clothing goes with your footwear.

When you walk by your “target” your perfume should linger seductively in the air not hang there like a dark cloud! It should provide a “sexy aura” while you are flirting. Remember to use scented foot lotions or foot balms or even spritz your feet with a little bit of perfume. Perfume can be pleasing to the senses and arouse a man’s libido.


It’s easy!

Situation 1: The Walk By

Gals, go to the social gathering of your choice whether it be a wedding reception, a sporting event or even a trip to the local bar/saloon, hell it could even be right out on the street when you spot a cute guy that you are interested in.

Ladies, if there is no visible girlfriend in sight and you are pretty sure that he is single and you don’t see a wedding ring or tan line on your guys finger, simply walk by him and when you are no more than 1 to 2 feet away from him “accidentally” step out of one of your shoes and leave it behind. Gals, pretend that you are Cinderella leaving the ball and you left behind one of your glass slippers for your prince to retrieve.

Try to get at least 1 to 2 feet away from your fallen shoe in order to give the cute guy that you are interested in time to retrieve it before you do. Also try to say very loudly and innocently, “Oh no! My shoe!” And ladies remember to try to say the line naturally. Don’t pour it on too thick! Remember gals you are trying to attract the attention of a cute guy not an oscar nomination.

When at last you finally turn around and make to retrieve your fallen shoe be sure to walk as slowly as you possibly can get away with again giving the cute guy that you are interested in time to retrieve your shoe.

Once you finally come face to face with the cute guy that you are interested in tell him “thank you” and wink at him in your most seductive way then hold out your foot (be sure to wiggle your toes) and ask him to put the shoe on for you. Ladies, do not put on your own fallen shoe, let him do it! Remember, he is your prince charming, your knight in shining armour!

Once your cute guy puts your shoe back on your foot thank him again with a winning smile. Also try to touch him by patting him on the shoulder or tousling his hair playfully to give him another big signal that you are interested in him. (I mean gals, who knows, he may ask you to sit down and join him, ask you to stay for a drink, ask you for your phone number or even ask you out for a date right then and there. Foot flirting can be a very powerful method. And ladies if you are getting some “good vibrations” from your cute guy go ahead and take the damn initiative and ask him out or give him your phone number. If opportunity knocks ladies, quickly open the damn door!)

Situation 2: The Sitdown

If you happen to notice a cute unattached guy in a social setting and there is a seat next to him available take advantage of this opportunity and sit down next to him. Try to angle yourself so that your legs and feet are in his direct line of vision. Casually strike up a conversation with him. If you are getting some “good vibrations” from him while you are talking start foot flirting right away by taking off one of your shoes and gliding your toes up and down your cute guy’s leg playfully to let him know that you are really interested in him. If he really responds to this ask him right then and there to give you a foot massage to prolong the physical contact between the two of you. When either of you is about to leave be sure to ask your prince to replace your shoe on your foot. Ladies, don’t do it yourself insist that he do it! And right before he replaces your shoe be sure to ask him if he likes your toe polish or pedicure to prolong his vision on your feet.

The Missteps of Foot Flirting:

Ladies don’t get mad or discouraged if a couple of things go wrong when you are foot flirting such as an unexpected wife or girlfriend may enter the picture. Simply tell the wife or girlfriend that you thought the cute guy was single, apologize and simply walk away. Perhaps another guy or even a girl may happen to retrieve your shoe before your cute guy does if this happens graciously thank the person for retrieving your shoe and try foot flirting again at a later date. Perhaps your guy has an aversion or dislike of feet or women who flirt in general or simply he may not be that into you in this instance hold your head high and walk away. Always remember ladies that there may be more women on this planet than men but there are still splenty of fish in the sea and in particular one of them is specifically waiting to be caught by you. Again ladies always remember that you are beautiful, special and strong! Just hang in there! One day your prince will come but until then keep the faith and keep foot flirting!

Good luck!

This is Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden wishing you single ladies champagne breath kisses and caviar dreams from the man of your dreams!

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Ladies, here is a list of the top organic and natural make-up companies on the internet that I wrote and compiled in November 2006 for my Associated Content page. Try some of their products and tell me what you think.

1. Global Healing Center ( offers organic make-up, skincare, health products and home health equipment. One of their most popular items is the Organic Shimmer Eye Shadow Cream which comes in many color-coordinating shades. Key Ingredient: Kaolin Clay: Water-proof and absorbs oils secreted from the skin. This ingredient keeps eye shadow from “running”. Price: $13.99 each.

2. MiEssence ( ( offers the world’s first certified organic cosmetics, skincare & healthcare products. One of their most unique products is MiEssence Organic Ambrosia Essense which is a dual toner and moisturizer with eight herbal and flower extracts. Key Ingredients: Organic Tamanu Nut Oil improves the appearance of wounds and healthy skin. Organic Rosehip Seed Oil reduces appearance of scars, facial lines & premature aging. Price: $72.95 on OS.

3. Burt’s Bees ( offers natural cosmetics, haircare, remedies, etc. Stand-out products include Burt’s Bees Concealing Creme which is a concealer that hides under eye circles, skin imperfections and blemishes. It comes in two shades, light and medium. Key Ingredient: Rosemary Extract: This anti-bacterial moisturizing oil is excellent for acne! Price: $9.00.

4. The Organic Make-up Company ( ( offers organic make-up, skincare and wellness products. One of OMC’s best products is their All Natural and Organic Facial Cleansers which come in four varieties. I recommend trying the Palma Rosa & Geranium Face Cleanser. This cleanser is non-drying and gently cleans dirt and make-up. Key Ingredient: Organic Geranium Essential Oil: Helps to relieve nervous tension and in some instances, can help to prevent insomnia. Price: $16.45 on OMC/$13.50 on Amazon.

5. Raesin Images Cosmetics ( offers natural cosmetics, mineral make-up and skincare products. The Raesin Images Colour ID System Liquid Mineral Make-up contains natural skincare ingredients that leave skin nourished and flawless looking. Comes in over 70 shades and 3 foundation formulas. Key Ingredient: Zinc Oxide: Helps to block the ultraviolet rays of the sun. Price: $24.99 for .5 oz bottle.

6. Pur Reflections ( offers pure and natural make-up, skin and body care. Super Hydration D20 Facial Water is a phenominal facial spritzer that soothes and helps to heal and protect skin against dehydration and dryness. Key Ingredient: Shea Butter: Emollient butter that heals wounds, stretch marks, and soothes irritated skin. Price: $17.00.

7. Paul Penders ( offers natural organic skincare products, herbal cosmetics and haircare products. Their “Nutritious color” lip colors are lipsticks that protect and strengthen even the most sensitive lips. Comes in 12 classic colors. Key Ingredient: Ceramides: Helps to maintain moisture levels in the epidermis. Price: $14.50.

8. J.Lynne Cosmetics ( offers mineral make-up and natural skincare products. One of their most interesting products is their Carrot Complexion Natural Handmade Luxury Soap which is a deep-cleansing facial soap made with carrot juice that rehydrates dry, damaged and sensitive skin. Key Ingredient: Beta-Carotene: Excellent antioxident and plays a major role in cancer prevention. Price: $7.50.

9. Aubrey Organics ( offers 100% natural make-up, hair, skin & body care products. To remove all traces of make-up, try Aubrey Organics Herbessence Make-up Remover. It is made from eight herbal oils that wipe away make-up and impurities. It also prepares the skin for cleaning and is safe to use under the delicate eye area. Key Ingredient: Macadamia Nut Oil: Tones aged and dry skin. Price: $6.95.

10. Monave ( offers natural mineral make-up and skincare. Unlike other companies, Monave really addresses the needs of women of color. One of their best products is Monave Eyeliners which are handcrafted with natural plant products. They come in 7 shades. Key Ingredient: Jojoba Oil: Rich in Vitamins A, D, and E. Also provides suppleness and softness to the skin. Price: $11.50.

11. Honeybee Gardens ( offers pure, all-natural cosmetics, bath and body care products. One of their most unique products is their ColorBalm Naturals Lipstick which provides the protection of a lip balm combined with the color of a lipstick. Comes in 20 colors. Key Ingredient: Kukui Nut Oil: Ideal for chapped and rough lips because of it’s emollient and cooling properties. Price: $9.99.

12. Cory Cosmetics ( offers handcrafted mineral cosmetics, natural skincare, bath and body products. One of their stand-out products is Eye Fix-Sation Brow Wax which sets the eyebrows for an all day hold. It comes in a clear shade and six color shades. Key Ingredient: Organic Extract of Black Willow Bark: Soothes headaches and arthritis. Price: $6.99.

13. BareEscentuals ( offers 100% pure and natural mineral make-up and skincare products. For a glowing complexion, try BareEscentuals Cush Foaming Seaweed Cleanser which is a deep-pore cleanser that gently cleans and moisturizes the face. Key Ingredient: Sage Oil: Antimicrobial and stimulating oil that tightens and firms the skin. Price: $20.00.

14. Jane Iredale ( offers natural mineral cosmetics. For a kisser that will make Barbara Hershey’s lips look deflated, try Jane Iredale More Lip – Lip Plumper. This moisturizing plumper will make your lips look fuller without having to resort to painful and expensive Collagen or Restylane
lip injections. Key Ingredient: Ginger Root Extract: Improves blood circulation.
Price: $18.00.

15. Sheer Cover ( ( offers natural mineral-based make-up and skincare. Leeza Gibbons, formerly of the tv show, Entertainment Tonight, sponsors this company. One of Leeza’s picks is the Sheer Cover Base Protector which is a light oil-free make-up base that smooths away visible skin imperfections, enlarged pores and fine lines. Key Ingredient: Cucumber Extract: Has slight bleaching action which aids in removing dead skin cells. Price: $23.50 on HSN.

16. Dr. Hauschka ( offers natural holistic cosmetics, skin, body, and hair care products. One of their most popular products is the Lipliner 01-04 which accentuates and contours the lips. Key Ingredient: Anthyllis Extract: Normalizes oily and dry skin. Price: 16.95.

17. Wei East ( offers natural herbal cosmetics and skincare. Bright Lights Rice Milk Essense provides targeted treatment to blotchy or discolored skin and brightens face by evening out the skin tone. Key Ingredient: Calcium:
Regulates the secretion of various hormones to the body. Price: $58.00.

18. Nvey Le Maquillage ( offers natural, earth-friendly organic cosmetics and bodycare. One of their hottest items is the Organic Compact Powder which contains earth minerals that provide natural coverage while sealing and refreshening foundation. Key Ingredient: Chamomile Extract: Anti-inflammatory extract that calms allergic reactions. Price: 42.00.

19. Arbonne International ( offers natural cosmetics, skincare, weight loss products, etc. To hide fine lines, try Arbonne’s About Face Line Defiance Make-up SPF 8 which is a liquid make-up that smoothes wrinkles. It comes in 15 shades. Key Ingredient: Wheat Germ Oil: Aids in renewing skin cells. Price: $26.00.

20. Ecco Bella ( offers natural and organic skincare, cosmetics, haircare, etc. One of their stand-out items is the “Good For You Gloss” which is a portable lip gloss that comes in 4 gorgeous colors. And for gals on the go, the applicator tube contains a built-in mirror so you can apply it anywhere! Key Ingredient: Organic Palmfruit Stearin: Stabilizes lipgloss and keeps it from melting in the heat. Price: $13.95.

21. Earth’s Beauty ( offers organic/natural cosmetics and skincare. Bisque and Almond were the two top sellers for 2005 for the Mineral Colours Plus SPF Foundation Powder Line. This powder is heavier than regular foundation powder because it conceals and has sunscreen protection. Key Ingredient: Organic Wildcrafted Blend Of Arrowroot: Provides a clear gloss to the skin. Price: $24.95.

22. Aveda Corp./Estee Lauder Cosmetics Inc. ( offers natural and organic make-up, skin, hair and body care. For a twist, try Aveda’s Petal Essence Cheek Tint which is a swivel-up cream blush that comes in a tube. Key Ingredient:
Jasmine: Increases skin elasticity. Price: $22.00.

23. Lavera Naturkosmetik ( offers 100% organic cosmetics and skincare. One of their most sought after products is the Rose Skin Liposome Face Mask which is a hydrating revitalizing mask for dry and mature skin. Key Ingredient: Mango Seed Butter: Softens, protects and renews skin damaged by sun or wind. Price: $7.50.

24. Aromaleigh ( offers natural mineral cosmetics and aromatics. One of their most popular items is the 25% Vitamin C Serum which is an oil-free serum that exfoliates, firms, moisturizes and protects the skin. Key Ingredient: Vitamin C: Stimulates the production of collagen which is the connective tissue that holds the body together. Price: $35.00.

25. Everyday Minerals ( offers 100% all-natural mineral make-up. For a finished look, try Everyday Minerals Finishing Dust which is a powder that sets make-up and controls oil and shine. Key Ingredient: Zea Mays: Contains an anti-caking agent and is a healthier alternative to talcum powder. Price: $10.00.

26. Geografx ( offers mineral cosmetics and natural skincare. For problem skin, try their Fresh Lemon Cleansing Mousse which is a lemon-scented whipped cleanser that cleans oily and acne-prone skin. Key Ingredient: Lemon: Eliminates oil on the skin and is used to treat cold sores. Price: $13.50.

27. Alima Cosmetics ( offers natural mineral cosmetics.
One of their best products is the Nourishing Lipbalm which is a moisturizing glossy lipbalm that is made from natural plant oils. Comes in 13 shades. Key Ingredient: Neem: Nourishing oil that helps skin to retain moisture. Price: $6.50.

28. Angelique Skin Care LLC ( offers natural mineral make-up and skincare. One of their stand-out products is their Cleansing Lotion with Oatmeal which is a facial cleanser that gently washes away oil and restores skin to it’s natural PH. Key Ingredient: Oatmeal: Soothes itchy skin conditions. Price: $13.00.

29. Larenim ( offers natural mineral make-up. For a silky complexion, try Larenim’s Mineral Silk which is a powder that can be sweeped over foundation or bare skin for a smooth and refined appearance. Comes in 3 shades. Key Ingredient: Titanium Dioxide: Full-spectrum sunscreen. Protects against UVA and UVB rays. Price: $24.99.

30. Skin Energizer ( offers natural skincare & cosmetics. For a walk on the wild side, try Skin Energizer’s Emu Oil which is a natural and antibacterial oil that penetrates deep into the skin to shrink appearance of pores. Key Ingredient: Emu Oil: Non-greasy, highly penetrating rejuvenating oil. Price: $14.95.

31. Sheer Miracle, LLC ( offers natural mineral make-up. One of their most popular products is the Mineral Lip Gloss which is an all-natural and long wearing lip glaze that comes in 7 colors. Key Ingredient: Organic Lanolin: Moisturizes and absorbs water. Price: $8.50.

32. Illuminare ( offers natural liquid mineral cosmetics. One of their most versatile items is the Crease Proof Sunscreen Eye Make-up which is a semi-matte eye color make-up that is water-proof and contains SPF 15. It can also be used as an eyeliner and to add color to the eyebrows. Key Ingredient: Methylparaben: Combats bacteria and mold. Price: $18.00.

33. PurMinerals ( offers natural mineral-based make-up and skincare. For a thorough face cleaning, try Mineral Mudd with Pascalite which is a facial masque that deep cleans and detoxifies the skin. Key Ingredient: Calcium Pascalite: Absorbs oil and reduces shine on the face. Price: $15.00.

34. Evan’s Garden ( offers natural and organic make-up, skin and body care. For a dreamy complexion, try Evan’s Garden Dreamsoap Facial Cleanser which is a liquid handcrafted soap that cleans and unclogs pores. It comes in 5 different varieties for normal skin. Key Ingredient: Beet Root: Excellent for boils, pimples and pustules. Price: $12.75.

35. Forever Mineral Cosmetics ( offers natural mineral make-up and skincare. All of FMC’s products contain lavender-based aromatherapy. For long luscious lashes, try Forever Mineral Cosmetics Mascara which is botanically-based and lacquer-free. Comes in 2 colors. Key Ingredient: Lavender: Highly aromatic oil that is soothing, calming and relaxing. Price: $13.00.

36. Afterglow Cosmetics ( offers natural mineral cosmetics. One of their best products is their Lip Gloss which makes lips look dewy and shiny while adding moisture. Comes in 7 shades. Key Ingredient: Essential Oil of Orange: Rejuvenates the skin. Price: $9.00.

37. Hemp Organics ( offers organic lip care with hemp seed oil. All Hemp Organics Lipsticks contain certified organic hemp seed oil with natural pigments and plant waxes. Comes in 32 colors. Key Ingredient: Hemp Seed Oil: Has super moisturizing qualities and is a humectant for the skin. Price: $16.95.

38. Suncoat ( offers natural nail polish and organic color cosmetics. One of their most notable items is Suncoat Water-Based Nail Polish which is naturally colored with earth pigments and contains no acetone, alcohol or FD&C dyes. Key Ingredient: Aqua: Protects skin and body from dehydration. Price: $8.99.

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I posted this article on my InstaBlogs webpage on Halloween 2008! Guys, after reading this article please take it to heart and I guarantee that your lovely lady will thank you for it!

What is SEX?

Here are a couple of answers:

A. SEX is a way of distinguishing male and female members of a species, usually by referencing their reproductive functions.

B. SEX refers to intercourse, an act that can result in reproduction.

C. SEX refers to the genitals.

Well, the SEX that i’m talking about refers to all three.

Thank god!

(Low-down dirty laugh!)

But when a woman has stretch marks, the sex can literally be a pain in the butt!

Guys, heads-up!

Every woman wants to feel sexy and beautiful during sex and having stretch marks can take alot of the enjoyment out of it.

Guys, one of the biggest taboos of all time is that women are supposed to be physically perfect!

They’re supposed to look like all of those beautiful size 2 women that we all see in magazines like Maxim, Playboy and People.

They’re supposed to have perfect hair, facial features, teeth and a smokin’ smooth body devoid of any imperfection.

Guys, this ain’t reality!

And if any guy says different you try squeezin’ a baby the size of a watermelon out of a part of a female’s anatomy that’s the size of a lemon and see how smooth your skin would be.

Oh, snap!

I mean, good luck, baby!

And a woman can’t help it if sometimes she either loses or gains some weight and her skin stretches.

That shit is outta’ her control!

Guys let’s face it, stretch marks are the badge of a real woman.

P.S. I stole that line from the Molly Ringwald movie, “For Keeps.”

Guys, another heads up!

Another taboo is making negative comments about your lady’s stretch marks during sex.

Unless you want to guarantee 100% that you won’t get any nookie or are Charles Bronson and have a major “deathwish”, keep your damn mouth shut when it comes to your lady’s stretch marks!

Guys, let me tell you three things when it comes to women, sex and stretch marks:

1. You need to constantly reassure your lovely lady that she is the sexiest woman in the world regardless of her stretch marks during sex and the sex will only get better.

2. Pretend like you are Stevie Wonder and turn a blind eye to your lady’s stretch marks or wear a blindfold which can also have it’s advantages during sex.


3. Go down to your local drugstore and buy your lady as much Palmer’s Cocoa Butter as you possibly can to help get rid of her stretch marks.

But guys, be nonchalant about it or there won’t be any nookie for you tonight!

Bottoms up!

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